Q. Back home, my husband’s relatives always try to persuade him to visit the tombs of dead saints so that his affairs could be set right. I try hard to prevent him from doing so, repeating what you have repeatedly said that the dead cannot affect our lives. Yet, we see that his relatives are doing well in all aspects of life while we are doing very poorly, and we are beset with many problems. Hence, his relatives insist that our family would benefit by such visits. Please comment.
Mrs. Nasima Hasan, Jeddah
A. Your attitude is certainly right. Visiting the dead is good only as a reminder to us of death and that we will have to account for our deeds. But this is achieved through visiting graveyards, or the graves of our own relatives. As for making certain graves shrines and visiting them for blessing or for asking the dead people buried in them for favors, this is contrary to Islamic teachings. It is the same thing as associating partners with God. No Muslim who understands his faith can do anything of the sort. It is only ignorant people that associate any results with such visits. From the Islamic point of view, there is no such thing as a saint. If this is a special status, the question is: Who can give a dead person such a status? If it entails that this dead person has a special position with God, and that he can request God for favors on our behalf, it is God that should give him that status. If so, how do we know of it?
The fact is that only what the Prophet has told us about life after death is correct. This is stated either in the Qur’an or in the Hadith. In neither do we have anything said about people who act as intermediaries with God, or who can plead on our behalf. On the contrary, we have clear statements that no dead person can do anything for himself or others. The Prophet says: “When a human being dies, all his actions are ended, except in one of three ways: A continuous act of charity, a useful contribution to knowledge or a dutiful child praying for him.” The last of the three means that the living can benefit the dead by praying for them, but the dead cannot benefit the living. This is why it is important to pray for your deceased parents, requesting God’s forgiveness for them.
What your relatives say about the benefit of visiting those saints, or dargha, is all wrong. If your relatives are in good means and have their wishes fulfilled, it is not through such visits, because the dead people whose graves they visit are of no help to them. You have to look at this through the Prophet’s words: “God may give the material benefits of this world to believers and nonbelievers; but He will grant His favors in the hereafter only to believers.” “Had this worldly life been worth as little as one wing of a mosquito, God would not have given a small drink of water to an unbeliever.” What God gives us in this life is a means of test. He may test us through riches and affluence, or He may test us through hardship and poverty. By whichever means He tests us, we must prove that we recognize Him, believe in Him and accept whatever He gives us, realizing that regardless of what affliction we may suffer, we still have enormous blessings for which we should be thankful.
Continue with your attitude and encourage your husband not to visit these places, because this is the right attitude. You need to show patience in adversity and God may, if He wills, replace your hardship with ease.