In a strange but growing trend, feisty Saudi mothers seem to be escorting and nominating themselves as official spokeswomen for their meek daughters on college and university enrollment days across the Kingdom.
Mothers seem to barge into such events insisting on speaking with course administrators while their quiet daughters anxiously wait in the background embarrassed and scared stiff their mothers might utter the unforgivable.
As soon as a course administrator asks the prospective student a question about what “she” wants then immediately we find the mother flouting social norms and butting in by insisting to answer on her daughter’s behalf.
Girls tend to put on a brave face and nod in agreement to everything their “official spokeswomen” say. An objection or contradiction is instantly silenced as the mother enthusiastically explains that she knows better about her daughter’s education and future.
The problem fundamentally lies with young women who never seem to be able to take control of a situation by taking the initiative to speak or express an opinion. These prospective students just palely smile and nod in agreement to everything their mothers say.
To add insult to the intelligence of course administrators, mothers further believe that by saying a few words of praise and invoking the name of God in a brief prayer then they have done more than enough in ensuring their daughters gain successful admission.
Personally, I find this entire state of affairs totally unacceptable. The way young Saudi women behave before their mothers is definitely an indication of their weak characters. The fact that women’s universities and colleges are totally run by women make the behavior of these young girls absolutely bizarre and ludicrous. Women administrators at universities are there to help students not to bite their heads off.
In a positive step this year, colleges made it clear that mothers are not welcome on enrollment days. Mothers who managed to plod along were kept in a separate room away from course administrators and their daughters to prevent them from interfering. Prospective students were asked to fill in application forms themselves.
I really am grateful to colleges for having brought in these new measures. They will surely stop mothers from interrupting and influencing decisions. Most of all, this is a way of signaling to young female Saudis that they really need to become assertive and take charge of the decisions they make in life.
Students that insist on having their mother and elder sisters accompany them on enrollment day need to realize that behavior of that sort sends negative vibes to university and college administrators. Educational institutes want to see prospective students voicing their own concerns and making choices by themselves not through a third party.
On one enrollment day, a mother came with her daughter, which immediately showed me that the girl definitely had a very weak character. Having spoken with the mother I realized that my concerns were true and decided not to give the girl admission. The mother then began using an array of techniques to convince me and other administrators to allow her daughter admission.
After a little while, I asked the woman whether her daughter could speak to which she replied yes saying that her daughter can clearly and eloquently express herself and is rather talkative. So I asked the mother why she needed to come. The mother then muttered that she was afraid the college might reject her daughter’s application and so felt compelled to come.
Hearing this it dawned on me that many of us simply don’t trust our children and entertain very little confidence in our education institutes — another problem which I’ll mention some other time. However, the question remains as to why we don’t trust our children even though we have raised them up?
I just hope banning mothers and elder sisters from enrollment days becomes an official rule across the Kingdom. What will we do with a generation that doesn’t have the confidence in expressing itself without the support of parents? Prospective students who can’t speak their own minds don’t deserve university places. They need to begin to start strengthening their characters.
