JEDDAH, 13 September 2006 — There are far too many tragic and miserable stories of abused women in Saudi Arabia. The women can see no way out of a life of fear and helplessness. The facts of their existence are not only a condemnation of a male-dominated society but also of the Kingdom’s shamefully inadequate system for protecting women.
Arab News spoke to a number of abused women who, after years of suffering and seeking support from their families, the police, the hospitals and the courts, have finally simply given up on having a normal life or have managed to escape to a shelter — only to be returned to their abusers.
With no clear national strategy on how to protect women, guarantee them their rights and empower them, the current institutions — the Ministry of Social Affairs, the National Society for Human Rights (NSHR) or the police and legal system — are simply passing the buck.
Khulood, 22, has attempted suicide seven times. Her father sexually harasses her because she is divorced. The last time she attempted suicide was at the shelter where she, her mother and sister had fled to escape from her abusive father. They were pressured to return home though Khulood was taken to a hospital where doctors said she had “suicidal tendencies” and required supervision. The doctors said that she should not be returned to her father because he was clearly disturbed. The evidence for that statement was a police report that in an earlier suicide attempt, her father had held a knife to her throat to prevent anyone from taking her to a hospital. Khulood was later returned to him after he signed an affidavit that he would not harm her.
Another 22-year-old, Wujdan, told Arab News about the physical abuse and humiliation she, her mother and her five younger siblings — two boys and three girls — have endured for the past 30 years at the hands of her father. A substance user, he chained them to their beds if they angered him. He prevented them from completing their post-secondary education and treated them like slaves. Three months ago, he kicked them out of the house after beating them. With no money and no place to stay, they spent the night in the street before going to the NSHR the next day.
“They took us to the shelter. At first, the social workers from the ministry listened to us and we showed them the bruises and injuries on our bodies. All we wanted was to live together, away from him in a place where he would not be able to reach us,” said Wujdan.
The social workers told them that they could help the 18-year-old brother leave but as girls, they belong to their father. The mother could get a divorce but it is likely that she would not get custody of the children, according to Wujdan. The social workers then involved the father in order to resolve the problem. When they did so, the workers “turned totally against us. My father made all kinds of false accusations and they believed him and badgered us. My father has a way of convincing people but how could they believe him when there was proof of how he treated us?” Wujdan asked in frustration.
The family was told to leave the shelter and go back home — and of course the beatings and abuse became even worse than before. Wujdan wrote to the NSHR which sent a letter to the municipality and the public prosecutor but nothing happened. Shortly after, the family escaped to Makkah where they have relatives. They complained to officials there of mistreatment. “All of our relatives on both sides have long stopped helping us because of my father’s repeated aggression. My mother’s brothers told her they could only take her in if she got a divorce but she doesn’t want to leave us,” Wujdan explained.
The authorities once again made him sign an affidavit that he would not harm them and returned the family to his house. Her brother escaped a few weeks ago and is now working as a street vendor around the Grand Mosque in Makkah. “There is no solution for us. The shelter was useless; they should just close down,” Wujdan said helplessly.
The story of F. from Riyadh is another example of women’s lack of independence and lack of choices in finding solutions. Although she was the oldest of five siblings, her brother, who was born after three girls, was given complete control and authority over his sisters. At age 14, she was forced to marry an older already married man with five children. He beat her constantly and every time she left him, her father or brother forced her to return. After 13 years of marriage and six children, she left for the last time, determined never to return to him. This time her father stood by her, and for six years she stayed in his house “hanging in limbo, neither married nor divorced” while her brother continued beating and humiliating her and pressuring her to return to her husband. Her mother had no say in any of this. With the help of her younger brother, she managed to get herself divorced.
“My older brother refuses to have a divorcee in the house,” she said. Two years later, after the death of her father, her brother married her off without her knowledge to a 55-year-old widower with 11 children. After three months of another miserable marriage with a substance user, she was divorced again and thrown back on her brother’s mercy. She sought help from the police but the officer told her they could do nothing but make her brother sign an affidavit.
After one of his brutal beatings, she went to a hospital and they told her to contact the NSHR which in turn told her they had no women’s section, and asked her to fax them her complaint. With the help of a friend, she escaped to Jeddah after contacting the NSHR there and being assured that they would provide her with shelter and not return her to her brother. She stayed at the shelter for eight months. During that time she received no psychological or social help or assistance to become financially independent. “Even if I had found a job, I didn’t have any official documents; they were all with my brother and, as my guardian, I needed his permission to work,” she explained.
When the social workers contacted her brother, he threatened to kill them if they didn’t bring her back to his house. She was under the impression that the social workers were trying to get a place for her to live and work and was surprised to learn that they were actually secretly planning to hand her back to her brother. She called her younger brother and convinced him to take her out of the shelter and let her stay with a friend in a charity home. He agreed, on condition that she never contact her mother, siblings or children since if her older brother found out where she was and who put her there, he would be furious with him.
“I haven’t seen my children since I came to Jeddah. I haven’t been able to contact my mother because I don’t want to get my younger brother in trouble. My friend is not supposed to have guests sleep here and I’ve already stayed here for two months, but how long can we keep that a secret and how long can I stay here anyway?” she asked.
She found out from her younger brother, who calls her every day to check on her and tell her how her children and mother are doing, that her older brother has been sentenced to six months in jail on suspicion of having terrorist links. “I hope he never gets out of jail because he will definitely come after me,” she said. Her younger brother suggested that the only solution was to get married. “I don’t want to get married. I just want to live with my children, work to support them and finish my education. What is the use of the National Society for Human Rights if they cannot help? Does it do anything but collect statistics about how many abuse cases it has received?”
