MADINAH, 6 February 2008 — Ibrahim, a five-year-old boy adopted by a Saudi family, is now mute, crushed and depressed. After spending three years with the family, the mother changed her mind and returned him to the Charity Organization for Orphans’ Welfare in Madinah.
“Ibrahim has been depressed for weeks. This is a real tragedy. It shouldn’t be up to individuals whether or not they adopt. There should be clear visions and goals,” said Dr. Ahmad Hafiz, consultant psychiatrist, who has been treating Ibrahim.
Faris, eight, is neglected and alienated. Children at the organization don’t interact with him because he has Asian features and he looks different. “Because Faris is alienated, he becomes very aggressive if he is annoyed. After I calm him down, I ask what makes him angry. He usually says that it wasn’t him. It was the bad evil Faris,” said Haifa Bajan, a resident sociologist at the organization.
Bajan said that it takes a great deal of patience to work with orphans. They do not trust strangers nor do they open up to them easily.
Hamody, two, is the most lovable boy at the orphanage village. His smiles and spontaneous reactions make everyone — orphans and employees — rush to kiss and hug him. Nouf Owaidah, a 25-year-old secretary and translator at the organization, wanted Hamody to live with her until his mother was released from prison. “Hamody’s mother is in jail. My family agreed to have him live with us until his mother was released from prison. However, the psychiatrist said that this transition would not be healthy for the child’s well-being,” said Owaidah.
There are 50 orphans — boys and girls — in the Model Village for Children’s Welfare in Madinah — a division of the Charity Organization for Orphans’ Welfare. There are 15 caretakers looking after the children and 12 employees.
The state-of-the-art village is built on a 300,000 square meter land donated by King Abdullah. The village has 12 buildings and each building has 4 apartments. Each apartment is designed to accommodate five orphans with one caretaker to help them eat, sleep, do homework and look after their affairs. It also has a theater, swimming pools, a nursery, a clinic, a gymnasium, a mosque, a basketball court and landscaped greenery.
Amal Zahid, director of the village, said that they aimed at providing the orphans with a healthy family environment, whether inside the organization or with an adoptive family. However, she added, some people are taking advantage of the children’s situation to feed their own twisted needs. “Sometimes people adopt orphans in order to collect the monthly allowance the Ministry of Social Affairs gives to all adoptive families,” said Zahid. “Today, a mother visited me looking for a wife for her son. The government pays financial aid to newlywed orphans to help them start their marital life. The mother wanted a wife in order to support her jobless son!”
In an attempt to gather official data about orphans, Arab News contacted the Office of Social Affairs in the Makkah and Madinah regions. After a long time, only the Madinah office responded that there were no reliable statistics for the number of orphans in the Kingdom.
“The total number of orphans in the Kingdom is approximately 6,700 of varying ages,” said Abdul Jalil Zari, director of the Madinah Social Affairs Office. However, Arab News published on Sept. 28, 2007 that an official from a Jeddah-based charity said that the number of orphans was about 18,000.
Zari also stated that abandoned children or orphans are usually found in mosques, hospitals, shopping centers, and gas stations and even in garbage trucks and that orphans are often illegitimate children. “Unfortunately, the number of orphans is increasing. Fifteen years ago, these cases were limited. Now society has opened up. The increase of foreign labor, lack of religious morals, poverty, loss of family values and spirit and the increase of satellite channels all contribute to producing more orphans,” said Zari.
Despite her busy schedule directing and supervising the village, Zahid interacts with the orphans and follows each case closely. She said that society must have a sense of responsibility towards orphans and volunteer to help them. “Investment in human beings is priceless. Having the opportunity to work with orphans is not a coincidence. It’s a challenge and it’s adding so much to my life,” said Zahid. She not only focuses on taking care of the children, but she also emphasizes the important role of caretakers.
Caretakers live with the orphans for 25 days then they take five days off to rest and visit their families.
According to Zahid, the constant change of caretakers has a negative impact on the children.
Aisha Tarmann and Janet Al-Johani from Ireland, primary supervisors of caregivers, say that it’s important that caretakers understand the importance of their job, how to live with the children and how not to take things personally. “It’s difficult to find well-educated mature, hard-working Saudis who are willing to live away from home for 25 days in order to nurture and look after children who have developed destructive behavior because of their circumstances,” said Tarmann. “The director suggested the idea of giving a weekly allowance to the caretaker who excels among her peers in looking after the children. It is a way to encourage them and boost their morale.”
Dr. Hafiz, who voluntarily gave various training courses to the caretakers, said that no matter how good the caretaker is, she is still not as good as a real mother. “A caretaker should have a degree in psychology or sociology. She should have experience in dealing with orphans and should go through a personality assessment to determine if she’s fit for the job or not,” he said.
Nabeela is a Chadian caretaker in her late 30s who works in the village. Tarmann said that Nabeela was first hired as a security guard and when there was a shortage of staff, she was asked to fill in as a caretaker.
“At first, the children didn’t like her. Yet, although she has no degree, she succeeded in earning the children’s love and affection. She’s the best one among the caretakers. However, caretakers need intensive psychological training to learn how to deal with children,” said Tarmann.
The village is currently studying a new initiative called the Big Sister. It’s a program to help children reach their potential through professionally supported, one-to-one relationships with mentors who have a measurable impact on youth.
There’s also the urgent need for financial support, psychological, psychiatric and sociological counseling for the children, motivational speakers in different fields to meet with the young boys and girls and talk to them. “We need a lot of financial support. Society has been generous enough to donate money, but orphans have needs just as all normal children,” said Zahid.
Prior to leaving Madinah, Arab News met a few young girls in the village. Some hate school because they’re treated differently and some have dreams of becoming teachers in the future.
“I want to become an English language teacher when I grow up,” said 11-year-old Rawan.
Dr. Haifz told Arab News that despite his full work schedule, he was enthusiastic about voluntarily working with the orphans because of the feelings of camaraderie among the members of the village. “Despite my tight schedule, my colleagues and I are pleased to assist the orphans. I felt how passionate and excited people in the village are about helping the children. The children deserve the attention and they need psychological and mental preparation in order to cope with the outside world,” he said. When asked about the team spirit and what keeps them going, Tarmann and Al-Johani said that they loved the children and they wanted to help them. “They are cute and nice. As a community of Muslims, we want to protect them. They lack self-esteem because of everything they’ve been through,” they agreed.
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “I and the one who looks after an orphan will be in Heaven together like this.”
He then emphasized the close proximity by raising his index and middle fingers together.
The organization was established in 1995 and is headquartered in Makkah. It has two branches in Madinah and Taif and it is registered with the Ministry of Social Affairs but privately run and funded. For further information, contact: +966 4 8132466 or +966 4 8132603