JEDDAH, 15 March 2008 — Survivors of domestic violence told Arab News they applaud the death sentence handed down on Tuesday to a man who was found guilty of beating his wife to death, and hoped cases like this would help raise the profile of the problem of domestic abuse.
A three-member panel of judges sentenced a Taif man to death. The name of the condemned and the date the crime took place was not disclosed to the media when the sentence was reported in the local press.
According to what is known about the case, the father of the woman went to the authorities with the accusation that his son-in-law murdered his wife and then attempted to conceal the crime. Medical examiners then determined that the woman died due to repeated blows to her neck. The father also said the man had a history of abusing the woman.
Arab News spoke to two domestic-abuse survivors who described their own experiences and expressed the hope cases like this would raise awareness to the problem.
One of the women told Arab News that she has chosen to stay with her abusive husband for the sake of her children, in spite of one incident where her husband beat her with a vacuum-cleaner tube.
“The kids were horrified and screaming as they saw me bleeding,” said the woman who asked that her name not be published. “One of them was staring at me and told the other said ‘our daddy killed our mom.”
Nevertheless, the woman said she worried about what would happen to her girls if she pursued divorce. “I am waiting until my daughters grow up and then I will leave in peace,” said the woman.
In Saudi Arabia, fathers often win custody of children over the age of seven. This legal deference to the father is often used by the ex-husband as vengeance against the ex-wife for the failed marriage.
On Jan. 16, Nashaat Ahmed Haji and his wife Iman Ghazawi were publicly beheaded in Makkah for the murder of nine-year-old Ghosun, Ahmed Haji’s daughter from a previous marriage. Both the father and the stepmother were found complicit in the torture and eventual murder of the girl. The biological mother had repeatedly attempted to win back custody and went to authorities on numerous occasions before Ghosun’s death with allegations that her daughter was being abused.
In one instance the biological uncle took Ghosun into his protection, but Ahmad Haji challenged this move and police intervened to return Ghosun to her father and stepmother.
Children often become victims of family disputes that do not directly involve them. On March 2, a Syrian man beheaded his 15-month-old nephew in front of the child’s mother in a Jeddah supermarket, apparently in vengeance over a custody battle involving his sister and her estranged husband.
A Saudi mother of five, who opposes divorce under any circumstances for religious reasons, told Arab news yesterday that the death sentence issued on Tuesday should encourage men to follow Islamic imperatives to treat wives and daughters kindly and with fairness.
The woman, who also did not want her name published, admitted that her husband has a history of domestic abuse. “He would beat me on regular basis, on my own, in front of my kids, and even in the car,” she admitted.
Rida, a mother of two, said the law should treat domestic abuse more seriously; that men should go to jail for a month the first time they are found to be physically abusive to their family members. She says issuing death sentences after abuse becomes fatal is not enough.
“How did this poor woman benefit from this judgment? She has already lost her life,” she said.
Lin Al-Samadi, a Syrian mother of three, said the disproportionate power men have over women in society makes women fearful of going to authorities. “Who protects woman from her husbands who have complete power over them?” she said.
Shaikah, a 25-year-old single bank employee, said domestic abuse should be addressed early, suggesting a family studies curriculum in high school.
Maha Al-Ismail, a single Saudi administrative assistant in her 20s, said women in Saudi Arabia are protected and surrounded by men, and that men use this power under different interpretations of what constitutes abuse.
“Let’s also keep in mind that the concept of abuse differs from one community to the next and from one family to the other,” she said. “For some an irrespective gaze from the husband is the worst of the abuse. In other families a slap is barely recognized as abuse. But being an abused wife is worse than being a slave.”
Lawyer Abdul Aziz Al-Noqal applauded the death sentence, and said it should help serve as an example of what happens when men abuse their family members. He also urged all women to not be afraid to seek justice when they are abused.
Al-Noqal added that the purpose of family counseling should not simply be to try to reunite women who have fled their abusive husbands, but rather investigate and root out the aggression. Follow-up visits by counselors should be implemented to ensure the reunited couple hasn’t simply returned to an abusive relationship.
“We have reached this stage (in the problem of domestic abuse) due to the useless ‘painkillers’ that we give to couples that are not comfortable with each other,” he said.
