Physical and psychological pressures make their lives more troublesome. Some of these women are in a difficult position to prove the incidents of torture meted out to them as well as to their children when their divorce cases reach the courts. Speaking to Al-Riyadh newspaper, a number of prominent community experts and academics spoke about this matter.

Lateefa bint Abdul Aziz Al-Abdul Lateef, assistant professor of social science at the Faculty of Arts at King Saud University, said that there are several factors that force women to continue their married life even though they suffer a lot of problems. These included lack of appropriate laws that ensure the protection of women, and practical difficulties faced by women who approach the courts seeking justice.

According to Lateefa, a woman’s reluctance to break up the family at any cost makes her endure harassment and violence from her husband.  “She is keen to maintain (the good) reputation of her family and do nothing to damage it. Most housewives are also afraid of divorce, as it drains their sources of income and they find no way to earn a livelihood in most cases. This situation forces them to tolerate physical and mental torture to a great extent. Another factor is her anxiety over losing custody of her children in addition to facing an uncertain and bleak future,” she said.

Lateefa noted that women  endure all types of torture and harassment and try to coexist with their husbands due to their keenness to avoid family disintegration. This is more evident if the woman is married to one of her relatives.

“She endures misconduct and torture of her husband to a great extent because of her hope to influence him to make positive and desirable behavioral changes in him in the long run,” Lateefa said.

Quoting some studies, she also noted that there are more chances for an employed woman to secure her rights from her husband compared to an unemployed woman. Likewise, a rural woman is less subjected to torture and harassment from her husband than a woman living in the city.

Referring to the negative impact of divorce on children, Lateefa said this puts immensely adverse psychological effects on children.

“There are also more chances for such children of falling into the company of bad friends, having an increased feeling of isolation and instability in addition to developing undesirable behavioral changes,” she said, adding that divorce also has a colossal effect on a woman on all aspects of their life, including psychological, physical, emotional, social, educational adverse effects, in addition to damaging their physical and mental health.

Muhammad Al-Aqeel, approved consultant for family dialogue at King Abdul Aziz National Dialogue Center, said that Allah bestows some rights to the husband and he must exercise these rights only in a permissible way.

“A man has no right to do any harm to his wife,” he said. “The Shariah forbids all types of abuses. It also prevented some practices prevailed in the pre-Islamic period that aimed at further harassing and torturing women even after divorce. In such cases, a man takes back his divorced wife before ending her Iddat period (a period covering three menstrual cycles post divorce after which the woman can remarry) and again divorce her after subjecting her to torture,” he said. Al-Aqeel noted that there are several negative effects as a result of keeping marital relationship in a state of suspension.

“An estranged husband punishes his wife without having any relations with her for a long time and deliberately delays her divorce. In such cases, women are denied their rights. Some prominent scholars in the past described the state of such women as that of prisoners, as they have even been denied their rights to get divorced,” he said.  

Asma Al-Hussein, a psychological and educational researcher, said divorces produce multiple impacts on children. “Some divorcees try to conceal their divorce from their children with attempts to convince them that their fathers are abroad. These women should tell their children the facts of their divorces,” she said.

According to Asma, many children of divorced couples try to suppress their feelings of grief, anger and anxiety, as they are afraid of revealing them. “It is essential to reassure their personal integrity. Most children feel they are in a displaced state, with denial of food, shelter and schooling, when their parents separate. This eventually leads to serious mental problems, including depression, among the children. Hence, divorcees should try to remove such evil thoughts from the minds of their children and try not to create a wrong impression about their fathers,” she said.

Hatem Al-Ghamdi, social consultant, noted that Arab society always deals with women negatively.

“Society finds fault only with woman and not with man in the case of a divorce. We always treat women with a partisan attitude even though the Shariah guarantees full rights not only to men but also to women,” she said while underlining the need for making aware young men and women who are going to marry about their duties and responsibilities as well as ensuring proper understanding among the couples.

Voicing concern over the rising cases of divorces, domestic violence and deprivation of rights of women, Lateefa called for chalking out programs to address such problems.

“Poor understanding of Shariah and regulations with regard to marriage is the major villain in this respect. There is a big gap between theory and practice in this respect. Hence religious and civil organizations and foundations should play active roles in addressing family problems in a way that safeguards the rights of women,” she said.