Tim and Tracy Rodemeyer, the parents of gay teen Jamey Rodemeyer, are calling for changes in how New York schools handle the kind of chronic harassment that drove their son to kill himself outside their suburban Buffalo home on Sept. 19.

“It’s the only thing that’s keeping us going, to try and get the word out,” Tracy Rodemeyer told Reuters.

The move has resulted in proposed state legislation to stop online taunts or cyber-bullying. It comes in the wake of the state of New Jersey enacting the nation’s toughest anti-bullying law after the suicide last year of a gay university student who was bullied.

The New Jersey law requires a uniform response to every incidence of bullying, including corrective action plans and time frames for intervention.

But in Buffalo, little seems to have changed. Last week a student was suspended for taunting Rodemeyer’s 16-year-old sister at a school dance just hours after she attended a wake for her younger brother on Sept. 22.

“It sickens me,” their father said of reports that some students chanted “better off dead” when dance organizers played a song in Rodemeyer’s honor.

“Your mind just spins at 100 miles per hour. How can someone do that? I don’t understand how someone could be so cruel,” Tracy Rodemeyer said.

“Everybody has a story about bullying but never, never have I ever seen it where somebody would be happy that someone is dead from their actions.”

Superintendent Scott Martzloff posted a message on the district’s website condemning the dance incident and saying a student believed to be responsible was suspended.

Police continue to investigate Rodemeyer’s death to determine if criminal charges should be brought against some of the teens accused of harassing him, officials said.

The high school freshman had talked to his mother about being gay for the first time about a year ago. In May, he contributed an online video to an international campaign called “It Gets Better,” designed to help young gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people confirm their identity and survive the pitfalls of being different.

She said the teasing that followed Rodemeyer through school included taunts of “fag” and “girly girl.”

While his online message in May was one of hope, his mother said it is clear now that he put up a strong front to hide the deep hurt within.

One big problem is that harassment may seem endless for some teens, deepening their despair, said Dr. Stuart Green, of the New Jersey Coalition for Bullying Awareness, who helped draft the New Jersey anti-bullying legislation.

“In 12 years of taking phone calls from parents I’ve never once gotten a call where a parent was upset about something that happened yesterday. It’s months and years,” he said.

The proposed legislation in New York to make it easier to prosecute online bullying is aimed at creating a “chilling effect” to discourage the harassment, said Rich Azzopardi, spokesman for state Senator Jeffrey Klein, author of the bill.

“Years ago, drunken driving wasn’t viewed as a big deal, even though it has the potential to kill people. What we’re doing with bullying is changing people’s perception of it,” Azzopardi said.

For the Rodemeyers, that shift can’t come soon enough.

“We’re really supposed to be learning from our mistakes and this is the next biggest one,” Tracy Rodemeyer said.