There’s a new mayor in town. That is, for the city of Jeddah. This is becoming all too familiar. I have heard though that he comes in with impressive credentials. However, before he gets sidetracked into venues self-aggrandizing and personal gains as others may have before him, I thought it might be appropriate to write him a letter of direction, a job description if you will.
Now how to address a mayor properly? The use of lofty titles in the past such as “His Exalted Excellency” or “His Esteemed Grace” or “The One and Only” or something similar just tends to cloud the self perception of these civil servants. For some reason, titles seem to get in the way of work performance, elevating achievements that are often non-existent. Tell a monkey long enough that he is a tiger, and he may end up roaring back at you!
So how do I begin? A simple “Mr. Mayor” will do just fine, thank you. And what of my concerns? I have to be brief and precise. Mayors generally attend a lot of social functions or visits to the airport to meet and greet and have little time for ramblings from disgruntled columnists or others. And so here is my short list to help him on his way.
To begin with, I want him to do away with the “Corniche Beautification Project” that they have on paper. Trash all those previous plans. They seem to have been drawn up by someone suffering from massive delusions or a very twisted personality. No wonder, the present sight of this once beautiful stretch of natural beauty seems so schizophrenic. Concrete and steel are fine for monuments, but not as sight blocks to serene splendor. Bulldoze all such barriers to beauty!
The next thing he should look at is the excessive numbers of roundabouts in the city. Some are as large as a small country! And others have some gross structure laid smack in the middle. Let’s get rid of those unsightly pieces of architecture. And please do not appoint a committee to make a study on the aesthetics of these monuments. Committees will end up screwing up things even more. Use common sense, and the side of your brain that governs the artistic perceptions within you. Rusted drum barrels, and shells of old compressors and turbines just don’t seem to generate much love or interest for the arts.
Although he has been on the job for a short time, he must have noticed an increasing number of joggers and walkers on our sidewalks. Therefore, he must promote the health of the citizenry by getting rid of these large troughs of tree planters stuck in the center of the pathways. Most of these just sit empty collecting trash, and end up impeding the natural progress of the pedestrians anyway.
Next, he should evaluate existing zoning laws. Again, no committees please! A residential area should be just that. To permit someone to build a five-story commercial structure next to a one floor private villa is simply criminal. And let’s ban the use of some of these outrageous exterior colors on homes and buildings. Translucent Pistachio, Funky Purple, or Murky Brown are fine when used on a canvas, but not as exterior paints for dwellings! Cézanne and Van Gogh must be turning over in their resting places.
And parking! Before permits are to be issued for any new commercial structure, proof of adequate parking for the employees or the customers must be verified. Triple and quadruple parking must be shown the door, and rather hastily I may add. Construction crews that allow building material to spill over and block streets and roads during their activities must be addressed to as well. And how about noise-abatement laws? Do we have any? If so, let us reintroduce and reinforce them.
Sewage and its disposal needs to be written in a whole column by itself. But perhaps, the mayor could skip a social commitment or two and spend some quality time looking and acting into the matter. I guess for now I have provided him enough on his plate for getting started on the job. Remember, Mr. Mayor, the legacy of a good civil servant is in the product he leaves behind. And you are here to serve.
— Tariq A. Al-Maeena ([email protected])
