A young Saudi of 23 recently sought my advice about going to the United States to study. He wrote: “I have been unable to complete my studies in the Kingdom because of emotional problems growing out of my falling in love. I halted my education after intermediate school to look for a job so that I could marry as soon as possible. I was lucky enough to get a job in the military and once I had a steady income, I asked for the girl’s hand.
“She, however, flatly rejected me and left me reeling from the shock. I was unable to concentrate on my work and asked my father for some money to help me start a business. Unfortunately, my father does not feel that I have the makings of a successful businessman so he has not lent me the money.
“I am now considering going to the US to continue my education. My aim is to become a telecommunications engineer and I have already begun an English course as a first step toward fulfilling my ambition. Sooner or later I will resign from my present job as it has become too much for me. I especially want to know if it would be wise to abandon my job in the hopes of getting a better one after completing my studies.”
In my reply, I mentioned to the young man the risks involved in going to the US at this particular time. “Your decision to go to the US has come at an inappropriate time. I read almost everyday about Arabs being ill-treated in America. I am sure, however, that Americans on the whole are good and hospitable and when I meet Arabs who have returned from the US, they invariably tell me that things are not as bad as the media would have us believe.
“It is good to go abroad for studies, particularly in the subject you mentioned. You should of course be prepared to face some embarrassing situations in the US. I give you this warning in advance so that you can be mentally prepared to face any situation which may arise. You must be prepared to endure unpleasant experiences because if you come home as a failure, it will have a very bad impact on your future life.
“I advice you not to resign from your present job; instead, apply for a long leave without pay. If you have to return to the Kingdom without completing your studies, you could go back to your job. I support you and wish you every success.”
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ANOTHER young Saudi also wrote, describing his problems to me. “I am a first year secondary student in an industrial institute. I have always got very poor grades and I am ashamed to say that I spent six years in intermediate school before I was able to enter secondary school. My only consolation is that I am not the only young man suffering from this problem. I am seeking your advice to help me out of my present dilemma.
“I belong to an old, rich family; I have two cars and live in a huge villa. All my whims and fancies are satisfied. My parents never reject any of my demands. I can buy anything I want and can do whatever I wish. I am a heavy smoker and I am not very careful about religious matters though my parents are very religious. I know that I am a bundle of contradictions, with both negative and positive qualities.
“My parents have advised me on several occasions to work hard and be pious. Nobody has given me a clear idea of what my ambition should be or how to achieve it. I hope you can help guide me out of these confusing circumstances.”
In my reply, I pointed out to him that hard work was the key to success. “Whatever your ambition in life, you can achieve it only by working hard. You have to overcome every obstacle in your way or you will never reach your goal. In your case, things are easy since money is not a problem. You need only to develop a strong will. Self-determination is a quality you obviously lack. The first step to develop will power is to liberate yourself from the spell of bad ideas which imprisons you. Your first goal should be high marks in your exams. For this, you must forget about your money which only makes you lazy and lacking in ambition. You must begin studying seriously. You must also stop depending on your father. Self-reliance is very important because a real man is one who stands on his own two legs.”