A man in his 50s recently wrote to me explaining why he had remained a bachelor. He said it was not for physical, financial or social reasons. In fact, he is tall, handsome and rich — everything a woman claims to want in a husband. He owns and manages a successful company and has a large expensive house. He said he used to ask himself why he had not married. Was it because of what he had heard so many times about failed marriages and the complications arising from them? Or was it because he did not want to surrender his freedom to a woman? Neither of these is the real cause.
At last some deep analytical thought brought him to an understanding of what stood in the way of his seeking — as he wrote — "the fruits of marital bliss." He traced his feelings back to his childhood. He lived with his parents whose marriage scarcely gave them a day of peace in their lives. His father was always unhappy because of his wife who nagged and quarreled constantly. She had even been known to beat her husband and the boy had been horrified on one occasion to see his mother beating his father with a broom. She continued until he passed out and a doctor had to be called. The poor man was obliged to stay in a hospital for over a month. One day after leaving the hospital, the boy’s mother so angered his father that he left the house in such a rage that he drove into an electric light pole. His body was found by Civil Defense officials next morning.
"Since that day the sight of my mother has upset me. I was happy to see her leave our house and marry another man. I also left the house which held so many painful memories. I lived with my grandparents until I completed my education and began working. The very thought of marriage used to make me uneasy and nervous in those days," the man wrote. He ended his letter with a plea: "Tell your married readers never to quarrel in the presence of their children. It may completely destroy their future lives."
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DIVORCE is not the end of the world. Divorce does not necessarily mean gloom or loss of self-confidence. On some occasions it may mean freedom and rediscovery of oneself. Divorce for some women means the beginning of a better life in which they will be capable of fulfilling their forgotten dreams and unfulfilled aspirations.
This is precisely what happened when actress Nicole Kidman divorced Tom Cruise. Cinema fans the world over feared the worst on hearing about the divorce. On the other hand, it proved to be a turning point in her life. After the divorce, she succeeded in perfecting her acting talent to such an extent that she became the talk of the Cannes — and other — international film festivals. She has been offered starring roles in films by the most famous and successful film producers.
Beautiful and talented, she earned the sympathy of millions of film viewers around the world as a woman unfairly treated by her husband. She never wanted to appear in public as a victim. She made her fans see her as a brave woman who came out of her ordeal stronger and better than before. She began wearing high-heeled shoes which her husband had never wanted her to do. She also believed that her talents would rise if she could be released from the prison of commercialization created for her by her former husband. Nicole even learned Russian in preparation for a film in which the heroine spoke fluent Russian. She also plans to become a licensed helicopter pilot in her home country, Australia.
The lesson other women should learn from Nicole Kidman is that a divorce is not the end of the world; on the contrary, it might be the beginning of happy future.