Two stories in the local press reveal that some traditions and customs in Saudi Arabia have nothing to do with Islam, and are in fact un-Islamic.
The first report says that a young man in Al-Khafji in the east was almost disowned by his father for no other reason than that he was having a meal with his sisters in the same room.
Traditions in that tribe say that males should not sit and eat with the females of the family. They should eat in separate rooms.
The young man, Khaled, came to Khafji to visit his family. His father had to leave the city to pay a visit to an acquaintance in Kuwait, and Khaled stayed at home. He joined his mother and sisters for lunch. But the father came home unexpectedly and saw him sitting with them. He was furious and started to yell at him, threatening to disown him. Khaled tried to explain to his father that he was the only male in the house at lunchtime and that sitting and eating with own mother and sisters was a normal thing, and that there was nothing wrong with that under Islam. His protests fell on deaf ears, and Khaled had to apologize for his shameful act. He swore never to eat with his mother and sisters again.
The other report was that a father went to the office of one of our dailies and asked that his daughter’s name not be published in the list of graduates that was to appear in the newspaper. When he was asked why, the father told the newspaper they were “social reasons.” He did not want male Saudis to know his daughter’s name.
Unfortunately, these two incidents represent the beliefs of Saudis who claim to be Muslims who practice Islam as a faith and a lifestyle. These things are happening here in our country, the birthplace of Islam.
Although we as Muslims all know the names of the Prophet’s wives and daughters and the names of the Prophet’s female companions, as well as those of other Muslim women who have shaped Islamic history, uttering a woman’s name in the presence of Saudi males is still a social taboo and is considered shameful here.
Ask any Saudi male in the street what the names of his wife or daughters are, and you will either have embarrassed him or insulted him. Islamic? Not in any way.
The first story is just as bad. Traditions say that eating with your female relatives is shameful. Why though? Where in our religion does it say that sitting with your own family is forbidden? In fact, I would say the opposite is true: Not sitting with them would be wrong.
Women will always be the core issue that will hinder any social progress in Saudi Arabia. They are evil, sinful temptresses. They are created weak, hence they need the domination and protection of men. They are fragile and therefore their mental and physical capabilities are less than those of men. That is why we have to contain them. They must cover themselves in black from head to toe so they will not tempt us with their evil spell and lead us into corruption. They must not drive, as that would lead to sinful acts, for example when they ask for help if they have a flat tire.
They should not participate in any social reforms. They must not mix with men in the workplace, even if it is an open space, as that would lead to great evil and increase the chances of a man being alone with a woman. They must not concentrate on pursuing their dreams and working and seeking enlightenment. They should not be allowed to play sports in public schools. They should be confined to their homes, being wives and mothers, raising our children and being sex objects when we men need them.
This is the image we plant in our society through some of our customs and traditions — sometimes even wrongfully mixed with religion. That is how we are encouraged to perceive half of our population.
We think it is shameful to utter their names in male presence in public. We think it is shameful to sit and eat with them. We limit their roles in public, ban them from public participation in decision making, we doubt them and confine them because we think they are the source of all seduction and evil in the world. And then we say proudly: “We are Muslims.”
