An important aspect of social manners that Islam encourages is how to approach a meeting where a group of people is present. The Prophet has taught us everything we need to promote good relations within the Muslim community. His guidance is such that he neglects no aspect of fine manners without informing us of it. He looks at what pleases everyone involved.
Abdullah ibn Umar quotes the Prophet as saying: “Let none of you make another leave his place in order to sit there. Instead, readjust your sitting to allow room for others.” (Related by Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
This is a very fine point the Prophet is highlighting. When a group of people is sitting somewhere and the place is full, then someone of high position in the community comes in, there will be one or more who will try to leave their places so that the newcomer may sit in. What these people do is fine because they are preferring the newcomer to themselves. The Prophet wants such a person to be equally polite and to refuse sitting in anyone else’s position. This means that he appreciates their gestures but he makes an equally fine gesture by declining.
The proper thing then is for the whole group to adjust themselves so as to allow more room and give the newcomer a proper position. This is normally possible unless each one is sitting in a separate seat. In this case, the seating arrangement should be modified so as to allow room for more chairs.
Another practice the Prophet’s companions emphasized is the one outlined by Jabir ibn Samurah who said: “When we went to the Prophet, everyone of us used to sit at the end.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Abu Dawood, Al-Nassaie and Al-Tirmidhi.) What this means is that when the Prophet’s companions joined him, no one would disturb the group. Each sits at the empty place at the end. The Prophet emphasizes this in more than one Hadith, and here we learn that the Prophet’s companions put that into effect, so that it became the standard practice.
Moreover, the Prophet makes clear that where there are only two people, one should not cause their separation. Abdullah ibn Amr quotes the Prophet as saying: “It is not permissible for anyone to separate two people, unless they permit that.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Ahmad, Abu Dawood and Al-Tirmidhi.) This Hadith applies to situations where there are two people sitting or walking together. If another person joins them he disrupts their business or conversation. Hence, he should ask permission to join them. If the group is larger, seeking permission is also preferable, but it is normally easier to join a large group than a small one. At least with a large group, the question of disruption is not applicable.
A different aspect of joining a group is that where there are many people attending a scholar or a person of high position, such as a ruler, a governor, etc. If the newcomer has some urgent business with the head of the meeting, should he seek to approach him, even though this means moving in between people? In old days, people used to sit on the floor, and moving forward meant that one would literally walk over them. The same is the case today when people attend a scholar’s circle in a mosque. The following Hadith gives us the answer.
Ibn Abbas reports: “When Umar was stabbed, I was one of those who carried him until we put him in his home. He said to me: ‘Nephew! Go and find out who hit me and whom he had hit alongside me.’ I did as he said and came back to give him the information, but the house was full of people. I was still young, and I disliked to walk over people. Therefore I sat down, although it was Umar’s practice that he ordered anyone he sends on an errand to tell him the result as soon as he came back. He was lying on his back when Kaab Al-Ahbar came in. He said: ‘If the Caliph would only pray to God, He will let him be and will keep him for this community until he does this and that.’ He mentioned some of the hypocrites by name and others by inference. I said to Kaab: ‘Shall I tell him what you have just said?’ He replied: ‘I have said it only so that you would tell him.’ This encouraged me, and I stood up and moved forward, walking between people until I was over his head, and said: ‘You have sent me on this errand. The man hit with you thirteen men, and he also hit Kulayb Al-Jazzar when he was performing his ablution at the rock with a water-containing cavity. Kaab is swearing to this and that.’ Umar said: ‘Call in Kaab.’ He was summoned up, and Umar asked him about what he said. He confirmed it all. Umar said: ‘By God, no. I will not say this prayer. But Umar will certainly be in great misery if God will not forgive him’.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad)
There are several reports by different companions of the Prophet about Umar’s assassination, each one mentioning one or more points. Together they provide a complete picture of what happened that morning, leading to Umar’s death after he was stabbed as he led the dawn prayer. We will not discuss that event here, but we will concentrate today on the points mentioned in this Hadith.
The main point related to our subject is that it is permissible for someone to walk across a circle of people, even though this means that he will walk over them, if he needs to speak to the head of the meeting. At first Ibn Abbas was reluctant to do so because he recognized that more senior companions of the Prophet were ahead of him. But when he had important information to give the Caliph, he did so. He had judged that the information he had at first was not urgent, but when Kaab said his words, Ibn Abbas felt that he must pass the information immediately.
Umar asked Kaab, who was a rabbi before becoming a Muslim, to come forward, and when he confirmed that the Caliph would live if he prayed for that, Umar said he would not. Needless to say, Umar realized that he would be a martyr if he died as a result of his wounds. He dearly loved to gain the reward of a martyr. But even at this late stage in his life, he never lost sight of the need to earn God’s forgiveness. May God bless him, for he was the perfect example for all Muslim rulers.
Arab News Islam 11 July 2003