While I do not usually use comments on my articles as topics for a new one, I will make an exception this time. The reason is that the comments I received about “Licensed to Hang” are just too passionate to ignore.
After listening to the painful stories of different women, I realized the problem was worse than I had imagined. Not only did the implementation of present laws allow men to abuse their rights, the same implementation deprived women of the most basic right concerning their marital status: the right to know where they stand.
Many women complained that the courts do not require that they, or any member of their family, be present during the divorce or revocation of the divorce. (Under Islamic law a man may revoke divorce within a three-month period without the woman’s consent; this means that the woman is still married to him.) The fact that a woman’s presence is not necessary during these procedures has left many women in the dark regarding their status.
One woman told me that after an eight-month separation from her husband, she mustered enough courage to call him to discuss reconciliation. The man replied that he had divorced her six months earlier. Imagine her embarrassment and shock.
Another woman told me that after an 11-year marriage, her husband confided to her that during a six-month separation period they had undergone a few years earlier, he had gone to court and divorced her. When their families succeeded in reconciling them, he admitted that he was too embarrassed to tell her or her family. Because the three-month revocation period was over, he needed her permission to remarry her and since he did not have the courage to tell her, he decided to take the easy way out and just block out the fact that they were divorced. They lived in sin for years. The man’s conscience finally stirred him to action and now he wants his wife to help him legalize the marriage — “with as little fuss as possible.”
Perhaps the most shocking story is this one. A woman said that it only took her a few months to realize that she and her husband were incompatible. She left him, asking for a divorce. After a long struggle, and much persuasion from her family, the husband finally agreed to divorce her. Two years later, the young woman announced her engagement to another man. Suddenly her former husband called and informed her that he had revoked their marriage within the three-month period allowed. She was still legally his wife. She had been his wife for more than two years. He was telling the truth, and he had legal documents to prove it.
The vital question is why wasn’t she or her family informed? Doesn’t she have the right to know that she is still legally married? Where are her rights as a wife in Shariah? Where are her rights as a human being?
In any business transaction, both parties must be present or represented. Is marriage less important than a business contract? Shariah requires at least two witnesses to a divorce or the revocation of divorce. It does not, however, require that one of them be the woman concerned. When I asked a lawyer about the logicality of this procedure, he replied that Islamic law requires announcing the action, i.e. the presence of two witnesses. The fact that it does not require the presence or representation of the woman, he said, is because it presumes that the man’s intentions are good, and that the woman and her family will be informed.
I am sorry to shock our courts into reality, but we do not live in a perfect world and the examples mentioned above are certainly proof of that. It is naive to base our laws on the assumption that all people are moral.
Obviously reform is needed. Women’s voices need to be heard. Their presence needs to be allowed and even encouraged. No one with a heart can hear these stories and still defend the way our laws regarding marriage and divorce are implemented.
I would like to ask one question that I know will ruffle a few feathers, but I will pose it anyway: How many lawyers, judges, or men in positions of authority have daughters who have been hung for years? How many of them have female relatives they care about who have been legally oppressed in any way?
I would say none.
Why do I ask this question?
Well, if the people who have the authority to change the laws do not feel the problem, if they have never been burned by the twisted implementation of what were originally just laws, how can things ever change? Let’s face it. We live in a land where “wasta” is stronger than the law but the fact is that all women need to be saved, not just women with “wasta.” Every human being is entitled to fair and just treatment.
Maybe if there were female representation in courtrooms, things would change for women. I am not a feminist and I do not claim that only women can remedy the situation. All I know is that things are terribly wrong and the situation needs the immediate attention of everyone with decency — regardless of sex.
One of my readers signed his letter to me in a way that brought tears to my eyes: “Father of two daughters.” With those four words, and perhaps without even realizing it, he summed up the solution in a few words: If every man thought of himself as a father, if each man saw every oppressed woman as his daughter, the present circumstances would change — swiftly and immediately.
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(Moodhy Al-Khalaf is a Saudi writer. She is based in Riyadh.)