WASHINGTON, 28 March 2004 — Many Marines only knew of Muslims as terrorists and extremists, so these lectures offered an opportunity to tell them that the majority of Muslims throughout the world were just like anyone else: They want to have families, provide them with a good lifestyle and education for their children, have a good job, and live in peace.

They Marines heard that the Qur’an should be treated with respect because Muslims consider it the word of God.

This led to the example of an Army raid in a mosque. The soldiers had entered the mosque with their boots on and walked over the prayer rugs. “When you leave a mosque, you want the community to respect you, not hate you,” I said. “If you have to enter a mosque with your boots on, don’t step on prayer rugs, don’t put a Qur’an on the floor. And if you must open a Qur’an to inspect it, touch the outer margin, but don’t touch the text.”

I also used the example of an Army checkpoint using sniffer dogs. A soldier had wanted to inspect a woman’s purse, but when she saw the dog she pulled back, explaining in Arabic that she had a Qur’an in her bag.

The soldier was not sensitive to the word, “Qur’an”, despite the fact that she repeated it many times, so he pulled at the purse, she pulled back, back and forth, back and forth, until both the Iraqis and soldiers became agitated. This near-riot could have easily been avoided.

The Marines were also told that it is inappropriate to enter a home if only women are present, and that female Marines should always be present if an Iraqi woman is present.

Next, I put on my abaya and headscarf and spoke about the importance of modesty in Islamic culture.

“Asking an Iraqi to remove her headscarf in public is like asking an American to remove her blouse in public,” I explained. “Respect her modesty, and have a female Marine take her to a private place where she cannot be seen by males if she must remove her headscarf.”

Once, an intelligence official with the CIA told me a story about being aboard a commercial airliner where a Muslim had washed himself in the bathroom. Someone on the flight thought he was taking too long and notified the flight attendants, and they were suspicious when they found water in the basin and bathroom floor.

“’It’s important to know about ablutions,’ the CIA officer said. “Because once you understand it, you’ll spend a lot less time wondering why the bathroom is wet, and a lot more time focusing on more important issues.” Some of the Marines were curious to know why men and women do not pray together in mosques, I demonstrated how Muslims pray in total submission to God.

An Army officer had told me: “All the Iraqis want to do is drink tea and talk. I don’t have time for that.” This, I told the Marines, was a big piece of the puzzle of what went wrong for the Army in Iraq. “If you don’t take time to develop a relationship with Iraqis, you won’t be able to get your job done.”

If someone offers you something to eat or drink, accept it, even if you don’t eat or drink it, I said.

I made them repeat en masse “Salaam aleikum” and “Aleikum salaam”. They learned “please” and “thank you.” After some discussion, we put together a list of words they wanted to learn, from “Stop!” “Lower your weapons!” to “What is your name?” and “Are you alright?”

To build community relations, they learned it was essential for them to explain their role on the ground; to respect the participation of the extended family; to show sincerity and curiosity in learning about the community, and to recognize diversity within the community.

“Don’t think that just because you met a few Iraqis, you know them,” I said. “Remember that the role of religion and culture varies with each individual. Avoid relying on one person as your sole source of culture or religion.”

“Don’t stare directly at people, and know that they will not stare at you.” They learned not to use swear words in front of Iraqis; that repetition connotes sincerity; to use respectful titles when they meet someone; not to use colloquialisms; and not to assume that “yes” or a nod means someone understands.

I closed with a quote Lubna had given me from the Qur’an: “You were created as different nations and tribes, not that you should despise one another, but that you should know one another.”

I told them I was counting on them to make a good impression on Iraqi civilians, and to return safely with a good understanding and — hopefully — a positive impression of Iraqis.

Afterward, one Marine asked me: “Will the Iraqis understand the difference between Marines and other soldiers when we go in?”

I told him I was sure that after the Marines had been on the ground for a while, they were bound to learn the difference.

(Concluded)