The Arab world is teeming with conspiracy theories. Many have built their careers on nurturing mistrust. I am not saying there is no basis whatsoever for such suspicions. After all, just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean you’re not being followed. But wherever I go, I am subjected to an unsolicited recital of how we got into the pitiful state we find ourselves in today. It’s always the Zionists or the Americans or the neocons or the Toms or the Dicks or the Harrys who are to blame for our predicament. We are forever looking without and never within. Interestingly enough it is never we ourselves who are found to be the architects of our own misfortune.

I am neither an expert on current affairs nor an intellectual but I find it rather alarming that we devote so much of our precious time and energy to conjuring up hundreds of ridiculous conjectures. Would you like some examples? Heard about the one where someone in our region decided to examine a Coca-Cola bottle in a mirror? This poor soul, who evidently had nothing better to do in life than analyze the reflections of soft-drink containers, made a discovery of such magnitude that it rocked the Arab world. His great contribution to learning and progress became the subject of heated discussions for many subsequent months.

He cunningly exposed that, over a hundred years ago, someone in the United States of America, that great bastion of Arabic literature, decided to slander Islam. So, this someone — let’s call him Dwayne, then made his statement using traditional Arabic calligraphy. Dwayne, being a redneck, decided to express his sentiment subversively. He took his statement, wrote it backward and went into partnership with a small-time five-and-dime guy who was just starting to make a certain fizzy drink. To be extra seditious, Dwayne’s friend used it as the logo for his cola company and the rest, as they say, is history. Is it really necessary for me to start on all those hideous and absurd tales about 9/11 or have I made my point?

What is it that makes us so eager to formulate these ridiculous hypotheses but, at the same time, so entirely uninterested in doing anything to improve our situation? Let me ask a question and please, bear in mind that I am quite a simpleton when it comes to this hypothesizing. Do you think that we spend an equivalent amount of time trying to find ways of retaliating if a premise is true? Okay. So the whole world is against us. We figured that out a long time ago. So do we really need to channel all our energy into constantly restating an already-drawn conclusion or do you think that we could perhaps, just perhaps, start doing something about it?

This summer I read an article in a British paper by a distinguished Fleet Street journalist. In an interview on Irish TV, he began to speak about the problems in the Middle East, blaming many of them on the injustice of US foreign policy. During the commercial break, he was ordered by the program’s director to tone down or, in effect, be pulled from the show. Why? The station had received calls from many of its advertisers who threatened to withdraw their business if the station did not halt the “inflammatory rhetoric.” That the “rhetoric” involved stating what was well-substantiated by facts was irrelevant. But — did even one single Arab raise his or her voice in support of the man? Now there’s a “rhetorical” question if ever there was one.

One of the major international networks was contemplating whether to set up shop in the Gulf. The producers were concerned about how they would be perceived in light of a damning documentary about the region that was soon to be aired. They expressed anxiety about the “fallout” from Arab audiences and authorities that would result the documentary’s being shown. So they waited on tenterhooks prior to making any firm commitment. Were they correct in their assumptions? Did we inundate them with grievances about the bigotry and flagrant prejudice that had been committed against us? Were the phone lines melting with the passion of our fury? Did we complain about how unfairly we were represented? Were we sufficiently inflamed to mobilize our commercial capabilities to influence the negative publicity we were being subjected to? (All rhetorical questions once again.)

Office space is being sought by the same institution right here. And how was it exactly that we exercised our right to the difference of one letter between “pathetic” and “apathetic.” Who in the Arab world had the time to call attention to such bad press? No doubt, we were all far too busy fantasizing about new conspiracy theories.

Lubna Hussain is a Saudi writer. She is based in Riyadh