JEDDAH, 10 January 2005 — The growing responsibilities for women in recent times and working away from home has put a serious strain on the early development of children. Mothers rely on maids to take care of their children even when they are still babies. Frequently, children develop psychological problems caused by this phenomenon.
Children in their early ages get strongly attached to maids who take care of them. This excessive attachment results in intense sadness in the child when the maid leaves to go back to her country.
Motaz, a father, said: “My uncle had a live-in maid from the time his son was six months old until he was four. When she left, he was depressed and cried incessantly refusing to accept her departure. I promised myself not to have a maid in my house when I got married. Now that I am married and have children, I have no maid in my house. My wife and I give all our love and care for our children.”
Maids affect children’s behavior in other ways.
“We once had a Buddhist maid who taught our son to pray like her. Whenever he sees a lit candle, he bows to it sticking his hands together,” said Sara, a mother.
“Islam urges each mother to be tender and close to her child. She must not make anyone bear her responsibilities, especially when this someone is a stranger. She should know what is going on with her child because she is going to be asked about him on the Day of Judgment. As Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said every one is a guardian and he will be asked about the people he is guarding,” said a religious teacher in a private school.
Dr. Nawal Mishkhas says that a strong relationship between a child and his maid causes emotional instability because maids do not stay forever. “Every child when young needs the care and tenderness of a mother. Feeling that his mother is too busy or careless to take care of him will develop the impression that he is neglected and not welcome in his family to the extent that the maid is taking care of him instead of the mother.
“Maids do not have authority over children. A child does not usually have the same respect and obedience toward maids as he has for his mother. He will grow up holding no clear moral framework of how to respect older people. He will also learn manners that do not relate to his religion and society. Maids come from different environments and linguistic backgrounds. A child is going to learn habits and traditions that are against his society. Sometimes, the maid’s language influences him, so he will speak the other language or Arabic with an Indonesian accent for example.”
“My brother’s children were raised by an English governess. Their parents also spoke to them in English. Now that they’ve grown up, they can’t speak a correct word of Arabic which is supposed to be their native language,” said Noura, a mother.
