JEDDAH, 16 August 2006 — Most fathers long for the day when they can see their daughters happily married. Strangely, however, some men seem to have other things in mind and virtually force their daughters to remain single.

Young working women all over the Kingdom are missing out on husbands due to their fathers’ selfishness. Naturally, the young women want a happy marriage but they seem to be unable to find the right man.

It seems that fathers are often major hindrances and obstacles to prospective husbands for their daughters. Some parents maintain that they are driving away insincere men who have their greedy eyes on their daughters’ lucrative salaries. Why a father would entertain such thoughts and ideas about a prospective son-in-law is a mystery.

Let 35-year-old Suad Ahmad tell her story. In the past, whenever a man came to ask for her hand, her father grew angry and unwelcoming to the prospective husband.

“This is not only my problem,” said Suad. “My sisters are experiencing the same difficulties and when we try to talk to our mother, we are told to be quiet and not raise the subject again because we don’t know what is best for us.”

Suad said many prospective husbands have come and gone but she has now reached an age which most Saudis feel is too old for marriage.

Another woman with similar problems is 37-year-old Amal Muhammad. Amal says her father behaves like a security guard, chasing away anyone who shows the slightest interest in her.

“He makes up ridiculous excuses just to say no to people. His favorite excuse is to say that I am reserved for my cousin,” said Amal. She stressed that she is not engaged to her cousin and “the only cousin I have is happily married with three children. My father is ruining my life by rejecting every man; he is turning me into an old maid. What about the teachings of the Prophet (peace be upon him)? My dad seems to have forgotten them.”

Nahid is a strikingly beautiful young woman working in a well-paid job with a private Saudi company. Time and again her father tells her that people who come to ask for her hand in marriage are only after her money.

“Once a man came to ask for my hand. He had a government job and was a university graduate seven years older than me. My father rejected him immediately, saying that he was too old for me.”

Nahid finds that argument strange since her father himself is 10 years older than her mother. When asked for an explanation, her father said he could see greed in the man’s eyes and he felt that he was only after her money.

Nahid was unsatisfied with that explanation and demanded to know why her father was forcing her to remain single. “He told me plainly and simply that he would only allow me to marry if I transferred all my salary into his account. It turned out that my father, who is supposed to look after my interests, is the one after my money,” said Nahid.

Psychologist Tahani Abdullah said one reason why some women remain single is because they want to continue their education and use that as an excuse not to marry. Some men, on the other hand, say that dowries are too high and that getting married is too expensive.

“The main problem,” Tahani pointed out, “is when fathers stand in the way of their daughters getting married. Some fathers follow the tradition of saying their daughters are reserved for their cousins while others prevent younger daughters from marrying until the older ones have all found husbands. All of these excuses are pointless and old-fashioned and cause many problems.”

Sheikh Khaled Al-Luhayyani, an imam at a mosque, said this problem was assuming alarming proportions. “Fathers are pushing their daughters into spinsterhood because of greed. There are stories of parents blackmailing their daughters, saying they will only allow them to marry if they transfer their salaries into the parents’ accounts. Preventing girls from marrying for such reasons is totally contrary to the teachings of Islam. Young women in such circumstances are entitled to complain about their fathers in a court of law.”