A Saudi nurse held the hand of a 10-year-old boy and took him aside to whisper in his ear: “Aren’t you the man of the house? Don’t you feel protective of your sister?” The little boy answered, “Yes.” So she said to him, “Why don’t you advise her? You are responsible for her.”
This incident happened when an 18-year-old girl, with her head uncovered, came to the clinic ahead of her mother and younger brother. Her red hair said much about her rebellious character and her mother appeared weak and helpless.
It would have been more appropriate for the nurse, who wanted to promote virtue, to talk to the young girl instead of giving the young boy wrong ideas of guardianship traditions.
Such twisted ways are used in many cultures where the family brings up young boys to believe that they are better and wiser than their sisters. A brother feels it is his right to control his sister, monitor her movements and even beat her up — regardless of who is older. And girls are brought up to be suspicious while boys are taught how to be confident and superior.
In such environments, violence against women is inevitable. Whoever batters his sister will definitely batter his wife. And a woman who was brought up in an environment in which her brother controls her fate will instinctively teach the same to her children. Cultural inhibitions have a huge influence on provoking violence.
Violence against women is an international phenomenon and statistics to prove this are available online. There are many reasons for violence against women, but what matters here is not respecting women and degrading them in our society.
Local newspapers have recently been publishing more and more cases of violence against women. There are stories of physical, psychological and sexual abuse from family members and friends.
Yakin Erturk, the United Nations special rapporteur on violence against women, visited the Kingdom last week to review a number of abuse cases involving Saudi women that have attracted international attention. She met many women living in social care centers who have been subjected to domestic violence — including Fatima who was forcibly divorced.
Upbringing is the No. 1 factor that determines how a man treats a woman. Society needs to be aware and school curriculums should teach this. In the same way we teach young girls to obey and respect their husbands, young boys need to learn how to treat women lovingly, following the perfect example of the Prophet (peace be upon him).
As for short-term solutions, I believe it is necessary to have a dedicated hotline, staffed by experts, for serving abused women.
This would be in addition to providing shelters in all the Kingdom’s cities and applying Shariah penalties — without delay — to those who are proven guilty. The media should also shed light on those who commit such horrible crimes in order to send a message to all other predators lurking in the Kingdom.
