Every Monday... my female friends and I meet at 4 p.m. around cups of tea with milk and scones. And every Monday we discuss a burning issue that we have read about or faced. I have to say we are not that democratic in our choosing, but the good thing is that we never fight over it.

The issue this week was what the right thing is to do when faced with challenges that are not our concern — i.e. neighbor safety, school sanitation, street maintenance and such. And to give it more clarification, let me give you some examples: If there were random thefts in a specific neighborhood, or the street in front of our houses was not always clean and tidy or the children’s school budget could not take care of all the requirements.

Some of my friends went to the extreme and insisted that our government was strong and wealthy and should pay for all these things and others went the other way and said that social work, or volunteer work was a must and people should get involved in their own problems and start making a difference in their neighborhoods.

The conclusion was, after a heated two-hour discussion, that citizens of any nation should always “Do The Right Thing” and by saying that, we meant that we should encourage everybody on both sides to be involved. “The Right Thing” is always The right path to a healthy society.

*****

Dear Nadia,

I am very much interested in Arabian incense and agarwood or what you call it in the Gulf oud. I want to be able to tell the difference between the good and expensive and the cheap. Is it an acquired taste and what are the best shops which sell it?

— Martin, Dhahran

Dear Martin,

Thank you for asking about a subject and an item that is very precious to me, and probably to half the citizens of the Gulf. Concerning oud, it is not a real piece of wood but rather a genetic deficiency that happens to a special kind of trees (Aquilaria) that are grown in southeast Asia. Strangely enough, the Asian people are not really interested in such specimens as their incense is so different. The Arab merchants from the Gulf discovered the resin and sold it as a special and expensive burning wood in the 1700s.

Only those from big wealthy families whose fathers and mothers are used to such trinkets know the best deals. The prices vary from SR100 to SR1,000 for a “tola” which is a small measure of weight.

The best way to burn it is by lighting a piece or two pieces of coal and letting it burn half and half so that the oud is not burned completely after placing it over the lighted coal.

And yes it is an acquired taste for smells. I personally am addicted to it and have to burn one to two pieces in my bedroom daily. The best places to find it are Arabic shops for perfumes.