A police source told Arab News that most non-Saudi women report cases of violence against them from their husbands or families.

Saudi women on the other hand report only a few cases, preferring to hide their family problems, perhaps because they fear the possibility of divorce. They find themselves in a situation where they believe they have to learn how to accept abuse.

A number of Saudi and expatriate women exposed to domestic violence told Arab News the reasons why they chose not to speak out.

Sarah, a Saudi woman who requested not to mention her family name, said that she would prefer to be beaten up by her husband than get divorced.

She said that it is considered an insult to her family to complain to authorities about her husband, especially as she has children with him.

“I always believe and pray to God that one day he will not beat me up. I criticize those who call us weak. Our silence does not mean we are weak,” she said.

“We are strong and there are many factors that prevent me from seeking a divorce. This is a sacrifice that I have to make and I have to be patient for the sake of my kids. I always believe that one day he will change.”

Sarah, like many other women in her shoes, is from a traditional family where divorce is not an option, even if it means accepting violence and humiliation.

“Only when I believe that I have reached a dead end and that his violence will never stop will I consider getting a divorce from him,” she added.

Kawthar is an Egyptian mother of three married to an elderly Saudi who is constantly abusing her. She prefers her husband’s abuse to living alone as a divorced woman or getting deported.

“I have no one to go to and complain. Being alone in this country, far from my family, forced me to accept this humiliation. The only thing I can do is accept my husband’s abuse for the sake of my children,” she added.

According to Kawthar, reporting her husband to police is an idea that has never crossed her mind because she says the abuse is not severe enough to warrant speaking out.

“I have to be quiet about it because he keeps threatening me with deportation. One time he deported me for six months and separated me from my children. When I came back, I found my kids in a bad condition and my daughter smoking because of the mental torture she went through during my absence,” she added.

Abdullah Al-Hassoun, a sociologist at King Saud University, said whatever the reason, abuse is not acceptable at any form and there is always a solution.

“The empowerment of women is important. There are many women helpless and overpowered by their circumstances,” he said.

“Our role is to raise awareness among men and women themselves. Not only to impose punishments on abusers, but also advise them about the measures they can take to stop them abusing their partners in the first place.”

He added that another factor is the way parents raise their boys and lead them to think that domestic abuse is acceptable.

He said children see their fathers abusing their mothers and therefore they think it is acceptable to abuse their wives in the future.

“Young boys at the early stage of their childhood should learn how to respect their sisters and mothers and understand that they are not different or superior to them,” Al-Hassoun said.

“Fathers should teach their sons to respect women so that when they grow up they will have a sense of responsibility to protect the women in their lives.

“If abuse is a habit and a lifestyle, the abuser should change his perspectives and understand that a man who abuses his wife cannot be called a man. In addition, women also have to realize their real value. Women should know exactly what they truly deserve.”

According to Al-Hassoun, most Arab women and especially Saudi women share their suffering with their family instead of reporting the case to the police and consider this to be the right step instead.

First Lt. Nawaf Al-Bouq from Jeddah police confirmed that police have the right to interfere in a domestic violence case that is reported to them.

“Police respond to all complaints they receive, no matter the nature of the abuse case,” he said.

“When a woman reports that she has been abused, we pursue it to the end. We do not encourage her to drop the charges against the violent husband. What happens is that most Saudi women, when they report the abuse against them, they drop the case shortly afterward.”

He added that expatriate women rarely drop charges of domestic violence against their husbands.