Some women prefer to stay at home to take care of their husbands and children. They believe that taking care of the home should be their first and only mission.

Arab News spoke to a number of women who admitted that working impacted their family life, encouraging them to quit their jobs.

Statistics revealed by Dr. Ibrahim Mubarak Al-Jowair, a Saudi social researcher, confirm the theory that some Saudi women feel guilty for leaving their children at home and investing most of their time and effort in their careers.

Noura Al-Jehani, a Saudi doctor who was working at a government hospital in Jeddah, confirmed that when a woman is asked to choose between home and work, maternal instinct usually wins out.

“It is not true that only women from an older generation largely stayed at home. This sexist concept is still prevalent in this modern age and many women accept it,” she said. “Most men expect their wives to abandon their careers after marriage or when they have children. For me, it was impossible to quit my job for any reason. After I gave birth to my two girls, I succeeded in raising them with help of maids. It wasn’t a concern, especially as my daughters were young.”

Noura added that when her two daughters became teenagers, she started losing control of them.

“They took advantage of my absence to invite their friends home, go out shopping alone and make decisions without sharing anything with me.”

According to Noura, the sudden changes in her daughters’ lifestyles caused her alarm.

“I discussed the issue with my husband and my mother. They agreed that I had lost control and I would lose it completely in the future because I was not available at home,” she said.

“After one year of thinking about it, I decided to quit my job. My colleagues were upset with me, especially as they believed that my reason was not enough to quit, but I felt that my home was more important.” Noura said after she quit her job, she started taking control of everything at home.

“I was very curious to observe and know everything. My daughters were very angry. They said that I was interfering in their lives. They were not able to accept me, but later they did,” she said.

Nadine Aagha, a Syrian agriculture engineering graduate and mother of three, confirmed that in her society, millions of women have more control over their own lives because they do not work.

“The idea of a woman sitting at home only to serve her children and husband is not true. She prefers to stay at home in order to gain control, especially when she considers the home as her true kingdom,” she said.

“Unfortunately, many societies are trying to resist the idea of women staying at home, such as many Arab countries, Japan and some southern European countries. They claim that traditional women are wasting their talents, but they forget that our talent can be used at home to raise children.”

She added that she has never looked for a job or salary. “I chose to stay with my children and control their lives as well as my husband’s life. No man in this world prefers to return home while his wife is still at work. To me, my rights at home is much more important than the right to work.”

Middle-class couples complain that they have too little time for their children. Many middle class people prefer women to stay at home and take control of the house.

Nawal Rashed, a Saudi mother of two, said she almost faced divorce because of her job.

“I don’t think that working could give me my rights. Recently, I realized that my rights and duties start at home. Many women find choosing between their children and careers a tough mission. For me, the situation was completely different, especially when I had a tough experience with my husband,” she said.

“I was working as a teacher in a village far away from Jeddah. This required me to leave home early in the morning and return at home after sunset. The maid was the one who took care of everything. She was the one who prepared breakfast for my children and husband. She was also the one who prepared dinner and took care of my children. These responsibilities encouraged my younger son, who was four years old at the time, to call her ‘mom.’”

According to Rashed, her husband asked her several times to quit her job but she refused.

“My husband was always angry because of my absence. I never responded to him because I thought he was jealous of my independence as a working mother and because I had a higher salary than him,” said Rashed.

“When I discovered that the maid had become the master in the home and my son was calling her ‘mom,’ I immediately decided to quit.”

Mansour bin Askar, a professor of sociology at King Saud University in Riyadh, claimed maternal instinct usually wins out in such dilemmas.

“When women are forced to choose between her home and work, her instincts would immediately choose the home and children. This is because Arab societies place much emphasis on the relationship between family members, such as parents and children, a woman and her in-laws, and even between friends,” he said.

“Not surprisingly, it is difficult and stressful for a woman to juggle all these relations, give her children a good upbringing as well as pursue a career successfully. A woman always loses control at home if she works.”