A recent study indicated that 95 percent of women in the Kingdom who go to psychiatrists and psychologists are depressed. Women say they feel a general lack of compassion and time provided by husbands on household activities.

“There is a stigma among men here regarding psychiatric help and counseling. They do not want to be labeled as being ‘mental’ by going to a mental health clinic. Most male clients do not show up or withdraw after attending a session,” Dr. Najib Abbas, a marriage counselor at Maharat Center in Jeddah, told Arab News.

According to Abbas, most couples do not want to deal with their marriage problems until they become too severe to deal with.

Abbas said most of those who attend his sessions are “unprejudiced, educated men who have studied abroad so they come with an open mind. Otherwise, women have difficulty bringing their husbands along for therapy, so eventually they drop out too.”

Mahmoud Ansar, 38, said: “Why would I want to talk to a stranger about my problems? And why would my wife tell someone outside about our family problems. That is unacceptable. Women like talking so they are more open to conversation. Men have pride and I am not going to let her go to talk to a doctor who should not know anything about my private affairs in the first place.”

Most women in the Kingdom suffer from Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), according to Dr. Nazly Daula, a psychiatrist in Jeddah. She believes “it is more common than depression” and can be caused by three factors.

GAD can be caused genetically, by environmental problems such as marital conflicts or work related stress and the most common is the personality traits of compassion and sensitivity.

According to Daula, 95 percent of women patients are affected by bad relationships, failing marriages or other troubles. Marital background is the main factor causing GAD to accelerate and settle into depression, as men wish to keep away from marriage counseling.

Dr. Khalid Al-Halibi, director of the Center for Family Development in Al-Ahsa, confirmed a recent study that women patients at psychiatric clinics in Saudi Arabia are suffering from an emotional vacuum, and have symptoms such as depression and social fear. This comes as a result of disastrous relationships, or failed marriages. Women in search of compensation for feeling insignificant have resorted to flawed schemes.

Women in the Kingdom maintain silence on visits to psychiatric clinics as culturally it is seen as a taboo.

“I do not want to tell people I see a shrink so they think I am mental. Plus my mother will probably want to abandon me if this gets in the way of me getting proposals. People here do not understand the meaning of psychiatry. I am seeking help to get over depression and insomnia, it has nothing to do with me being delusional,” said Amira Hussein.

Al-Halibi believes that the most prominent cause of abuse is the method of upbringing in Saudi households that differs from Islamic upbringings.

He added: “(In a traditional upbringing) a woman would remain silent instead of claiming her basic rights, while the man would continue to mistreat her. However, there are instances when women provoke men to lose temper with their unrealistic demands or digressions.”

Amal Talha, a 23-year-old student, told Arab News that seeking consultation is common among her friends, and nine out of 10 see a shrink at least once in their lives. “It is harassing, yet healing. But honestly, at least we have someone to talk to, and they will give us real advice to get out of this mess. I mean my dad’s almost never home or too tired to talk and mother just wants us to get married. Most of us are terribly devastated with the marital pressure in our lives. My friend just got a divorce because her husband failed to pay any attention to her, he is always at work and it seems like it is okay in the culture here to leave wives alone at home to look after the kids while men enjoy their time outside in cafes. I have never seen this anywhere else. Where is the concept of family?”

The idea of consulting shrinks is not considered a virtue for women; the idea is derogatory in the eyes of conservative families who think anyone who needs treatment is a weak person, according to Asma Halib.

“They do not realize it is only a way to let our guard down and become better human beings. I wish my husband gave it a chance instead of letting his ego block our happiness or chances of a successful marriage. I am on depressants while he is watching TV in another room. I give up. I just want to get out of this marriage if he does not change.”

Al-Halibi stated that the abuse of females, in the form of beatings and insults, denying their right to inheritance, or neglecting them emotionally, completely goes against Islamic teachings.

Islam dictates that girls in particular, and women in general, are a blessing and by treating them well, one can be shielded from hell and guided to heaven.

“I believe that the solution lies in the need for widespread public awareness and significant funding for these campaigns.”

He emphasized that developing infrastructure is not as important as developing human rights and safeguarding moral and ethical values. The only way is to establish the family on the basis of psychological stability so that it is able to produce model citizens, he added.

Most psychologists are of the opinion that the stigma of counseling and psychiatry remains as it is not acceptable within the norms of Saudi culture.