DUBAI: You know those fake films you see in TV shows like “30 Rock” or, more recently, “The Studio”? Guy Ritchie’s latest misfire, “Fountain of Youth,” captures that vibe perfectly.
A chaotic, charmless attempt at action-adventure, “Fountain of Youth” clearly takes its inspiration from “Indiana Jones,” but ends up as a muddled mess of clichés, clunky dialogue, and a lead who never quite convinces.
The latter is John Krasinski as Luke Purdue, an archaeologist-turned-art thief racing to uncover the location of the legendary Fountain of Youth — believed to be capable of bestowing eternal life — with the help of rich benefactor Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), a billionaire with a fatal illness who’s ready to throw all his money into the quest.
When things go awry, Luke reaches out to his younger sister Charlotte (a resplendent Natalie Portman) for help. The squabbling siblings then set off on a globetrotting adventure, while being chased by shadowy organizations and Interpol.
The problem? Krasinski brings all the gravitas of a put-upon history teacher on a school field trip. There’s a stiffness to him that means you never quite shake off the sense that he’s just playing dress-up.
Portman and Gleeson fare better. Portman, playing a sharp-tongued art curator and a mother on the brink of divorce, injects moments of tension and vulnerability that almost make you care about the story. Gleeson, meanwhile, steals every scene he’s in as he descends into villainy. But even their combined charisma fails to inject life into the limp script.
Other noteworthy performances come from Eiza Gonzales, who plays Esme, just one of the many people trying to stop the siblings from uncovering the Fountain of Youth; and Arian Moayed, who plays Interpol’s Inspector Abbas.
Ritchie’s signature snappy style is drowned under a deluge of poorly choreographed chase sequences, same-y set pieces and exposition-heavy dialogue. The film looks expensive but feels lazy, with international locations reduced to postcard backgrounds.
“Fountain of Youth” wants to be thrilling, funny and smart. Instead, it’s repetitive, cringey and talks down to its viewers.
