In 1975 a movie was released that became very famous and, I believe, also won some Oscar awards. Its title was “One flew over the cuckoo’s nest.” The story takes place in an asylum. It depicts life in such a dreadful place, where people with mental illnesses are deprived of a normal, natural way of reasoning and behaving — due to their disease. This kind of individuals deserve all our empathy and compassion. On the other hand, people who are supposedly “normal” often behave in a way that has nothing to do with the “natural reasoning” that anyone would expect. I am often brought to compare the world, our society, with a “cuckoo’s nest” because of the illogical and sometimes even cruel behavior of those human beings who, ironically enough, believe they are just living their lives in the best way. We should say “in the most suitable way for themselves,” because they totally overlook the feelings and needs of those they interact with.
Take a manipulator, for example. To manipulate means to influence or manage shrewdly or deviously someone in one’s favor by means of cunning, tricky practices. Think of an individual, for example a husband (but it could also be a wife, a friend, a boss, a colleague etc.) who starts his interaction by being the most charming person in the world to conquer his wife’s love and devotion. He uses sweet words, he seems interested in her conversation, he shows admiration toward her. He really appears to be a wonderful human being whom any woman would love to be married to. Then, slowly at first, more swiftly and clearly afterwards, things start to change. He now knows her well, he has detected her strengths and weaknesses and eagerly begins working on destroying the former while utilizing the latter. If she is sensitive, he doesn’t miss any chance to make her feel guilty for imaginary faults to obtain what he wants. If she is shy, he enjoys putting her in uncomfortable situations to have it his own way. One day he is nice, so that she appreciates his apparent softness but, as soon as she starts showing her joy, he immediately finds the right word to push her back into her misery.
Making someone feel guilty is one of the most wide-spread tricks that human beings use in order to have others give in to their desires and requests. It is also among the most despicable behaviors because it takes advantage of the trust and good faith of another to deceive him or her in a very subtle way. The “victim,” in fact, is seldom aware of what is going on. This kind of people are certainly cowards, because they do not dare to express their thoughts clearly and fairly, they do not have the courage to ask for what they want in a courteous manner. Deep inside, they are weak and scared, that is why they have created a sort of shield all around themselves, behind which they feel safe and strong, as long as they can find the right victim to step upon.
Manipulation is one character trait among those that make the world look like a “cuckoo’s nest.” There are others that we might talk about later. The important thing is to become aware of this kind of reality and learn to detect the true nature of people behind the mask they might show to you at first. It is not an easy task but it can be done. Prudence in accepting a great show of love, appreciation, friendship from new acquaintances could be a useful tool. Try not to be overwhelmed by charming words, by extraordinary tales or the display of a selfish, caring personality. It’s never too late to learn, possibly starting from someone else’s experience rather than your own.
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