It is a shame to be weak. That seems to be the prevalent notion among Saudi parents nowadays when they bring up their children. Parents believe that the outside world is a jungle and it is their children’s duty to strike before being attacked.
Educational consultant and human development expert Muhammed Hassan Ashour says that a child’s family plays the biggest role in the formation of the child’s personality. In the early years of childhood, parents are a child’s only world, but once children step out to the larger world, such as schools, some problems are bound to appear, either from the behavior of the child or other children. That is why it is important to prepare the parents to face such situations and to teach the child how to face difficult situations.
Ashour believes that the issue of child violence can not be attributed only to mistakes in parenting but also other factors, like the child’s personality and the surrounding environment, besides exposure to excessive violence.
The expert pointed out that mothers believe that their advice to hit back is a right approach when teaching them self defense. To say “if someone hits you, you hit back,” is not an absolutely negative stance, based on the principle of self defense, not attack. In addition to the need to select phrases to suit the child and his age, parents should not encourage violence just for competition.
Such encouragement would have a negative impact on the child’s personality, since studies have shown that the children of parents marked with a tendency for negative competition are likely to develop personality traits such as selfishness, rebellion and a tendency for verbal and physical abuse. Many times children with these characteristics also become introverts with weak self esteem.
It is always better to avoid the possibility of any personality problems developing in children by bringing them up in a moderate manner and not pampering them in excess. Parents should also take care not to bully their children because a victim of regular bullying may later on, as an adult, be unable to build healthy social relations.
This atmosphere of fear, where a child is victim of constant aggression, whether physical or verbal, can also lead to psychological and behavioral problems for the child, in addition to a retarded growth. Such children may also turn to stealing or develop a destructive mentality. It is necessary that a child should be taught how to protect his rights but not through teaching the child to use violence and aggression.
‘Encouragement of violence in children can lead to instability in adulthood’
