Creative Thinking: A ‘heroic’ virtue

A topic that, at first sight, seems quite simple and, maybe, even not particularly interesting is “patience.”
I remember having asked you, in past articles, if you are patient and, if you are, to what extent. Now I am asking you (myself and everybody else) if you actually “know” what patience is and when you need to make use of it. According to the official definition, patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble or suffering without getting upset. It also means self-control, bearing something painful or difficult without becoming angry.
All clear, isn’t it? I am sure that no one has a doubt about the actual meaning of this human characteristic that can be also deemed as a “virtue”, i.e. a quality that is considered highly good and desirable in a person. Let’s now imagine different scenarios, from the simplest to the more challenging (I am limiting my examples to daily “normal” occurrences, nothing too serious. See it as a game.)
Picture yourself being bothered by a fly. What do you usually do? Do you take the time and try to convey it out of the window or the door, or do you simply grab a can of insect killer and spray it dead? Or do you squat it down with a newspaper, as many people brag about being able of doing in a wink? I can already hear you say, or think, “Of course I do away with it!
Why should I waste my time when I can get rid of the pest in an instant?” Of course, you are absolutely right - from your petty selfish point of view. A fly is a living creature and - although agreeing on the fact that it is annoying, it is also possible to get rid of it without extinguishing the existence of a life that came into being just like yours. You are smiling with commiseration, I know. Fine. It’s your right.
Another scene. You are at the mall and meet an acquaintance of yours. He (or she) starts talking, and goes on talking for what it seems to you like hours. Maybe it is just a matter of a few minutes but the point is that you don’t want to listen. You feel bored either because you are in a hurry, or you are not interested in the topic or because you are unable to utter a single word. But, as you are a good, “patient” person, you bear it and suffer in silence. So far so good. Now, let’s go a little deeper into your “self”.
How do you feel about it? Are you heroically “bearing in silence” with full acceptance of your interlocutor’s need to talk or do you nurse a feeling of irritation and wish you could shut his or her mouth up?
You have an appointment regarding something that is very important to you but the person you were supposed to meet - or the friend who had volunteered to go with you - suddenly informs you that they cannot make it. You are disappointed, because you are going to miss the opportunity you were looking for. Besides, you don’t believe the “excuse” they are giving you. It’s not so easy to be patient and remain calm in such circumstance, right? It’s like when someone provokes you with a rude remark or an unkind criticism. You immediately feel like retaliating, saying or doing whatever you think suitable to get your revenge. “You let me down and now...take this! You offended me that and now... listen here!” Okay, you are going to do none of this because you are a patient person. But don’t forget to examine your feelings again and see how they are faring!!
You come home and dinner is not ready, the room is a mess, the children are shouting, the TV is blaring. Wow. Here, after a long workday, it is really difficult to kiss your wife with a smile and hug the kids affectionately. It is not easy, either, to smile while closing the cap of the toothpaste tube every time that your husband leaves it open (= always), while picking up his shirt and hanging it on the rack, or, even better, while collecting his socks and tossing them into the laundry basket...day after day after day.
Once you have established that you own such a virtue, you can proudly proclaim to the world that you are a patient person. But, wait a minute! Do you feel a “martyr”? Do you feel a “hero”? Yes, you do, and you might even believe that you deserve a golden halo or a laurel wreath around your head!