As images of ravaged villages and refugee camps fill our TV screens and stories abound of the cruelty and inhumane treatment of the Palestinian population by the invading Israeli Army, George W comes out with “Sharon is a man of peace”.
Outrageous ... how can he say that, you might ask. The answer is quite simple: 205 and counting. No, this number does not represent the number of dead in Jenin or the number of gunmen still holed up in the Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem. Nor is it the number of countries and territories about to be labeled by GW as sympathetic to the Axis of Evil! Quite simply, it is the number of days left before the next US elections.
God only knows what future horrors this “man of peace” and his goon squads have in store for us. What is predictable, however, is that there will be no end of sitting members of Congress and wannabe senators and congressmen who will line up to tell us how much they love and admire Israel, the only democratic ... yadda yadda. This is electioneese for ‘why you should vote for me’.
Those campaigning will be beside themselves to prove their worthiness to the electorate. Keep an eye out for some compelling electioneering sound bites:
— At a John Deere convention: “I was raised on a corn farm in Iowa, but all I ever dreamed of was to grow up in a kibbutz.”
— At a bar mitzvah in Miami Beach: “Growing up in the Everglades, I used to wear a straw hat in the sweltering summer heat, but this yarmulke is really much lighter and airier.”
— At a Vietnam Veterans parade: “Seeing all those misguided peace activists living among the Palestinians reminds me of Jane Fonda embracing those gooks.”
— At a National Rifle Association fund-raiser: “Being an Israeli Army sniper in Bethlehem is the ultimate high.”
— At the Caterpillar convention: “It gives me great pride seeing those marvels of US industry plowing through Jenin to open the way for the tanks in tow.”
— On an Indian reservation in Oklahoma: “Take pride that the dreaded Apache helicopter, without which Nablus would not have fallen, was named after that valiant and defiant Native American tribe.” (Too bad none of the audience, all wards of the state, can’t vote anyway)
— At the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People banquet: “Pressure the Black Caucus to stand firmly behind Israel.” (Not far below the surface is the realization that, in the wake of 9/11, it is now the Arab Americans that are regarded as the scapegoats for society’s ills)
— At the Pat Robertson Apocalypse Telethon: “Give eternal, unquestioning, unconditional support for Israel, for without it, we cannot hope to witness the second coming of Christ.”
— At the We Love Ashcroft gala: “Patience, a few more domestic terrorist acts and we will soon be able to operate as do the Israeli security forces, unfettered by Miranda, the ACLU and other bleeding heart liberals.”
Last, but not least, at the fund-raiser for the beleaguered INS: “Support Sharon, the champion of peace, and give him free rein to find a FINAL SOLUTlON in the Middle East. Only in this way can we keep our shores clean.”
