In many Muslim countries, practices that have no Islamic basis, or may be contrary to Islamic standards, have crept into social life. If they are integrated into any institution or tradition that has a religious basis, they come to be considered as part of it, and they may acquire a religious color. People may think of them as necessary or required by Islam when they are not. Take, for example, the question of dowry which is practiced in many parts of the Indian subcontinent. This is an amount of money, mostly in gold, paid by the bride’s family to the bridegroom. It is so much a part of the marriage traditions that when a young man wants to get married, he visits some families and asks them directly how much they would pay him for marrying their daughter. A father who has daughters starts saving at an early time so that he is able to have enough to pay the prospective husbands. Otherwise his daughters may remain unmarried.

This is contrary to Islamic requirements and practices. In Islamic marriage, it is the man who must pay a dower to his prospective wife at the time of making the marriage contract. This dower is the property of the woman, and no one may have a share in it, unless she makes a gift of part, or all, of it to anyone of her choice. It is paid in lieu of the benefit the man gets as a result of the marriage contract, which is the fact that the woman becomes lawful to him. A woman may demand what she wants as a dower, or mahr, and it should be paid by her husband if he agrees to it. It may be money, other type of property or anything of benefit. One woman was married at the time of the Prophet, and her dower was a condition that her husband would teach her all the Qur’anic passage he knows.

This is the requirement of Islamic marriage. A dower is due from the husband to his wife. It is not forgone even if it is not mentioned at the time of the marriage contract. The woman may still demand it. Suppose a woman was married and no dower was specified for her. She may still ask for it, and she should agree its amount with her husband. If they cannot agree, then she may put the matter to an Islamic court which would order that she is paid what is customary for girls in her social status to receive as dower.

Yet despite all this, people are ready to forgo the dower and give the dowry instead, only to get their daughters married. In most cases, a nominal dower is mentioned in the marriage contract. However, the girl’s parents instruct her to tell her husband on the wedding night that she forgoes all her dower and makes a gift of it to him. This is taken for granted, to the extent that if it is not done, it is demanded by the husband. This makes a travesty of the whole idea of a dower, although it is required by Islam.

One reader, Mr. D.M. Salim of Dammam, finds himself in a strange situation. He wants his marriage to be done the Islamic way, and to pay a dower to his prospective wife. However, her parents insist on giving him a dowry. Although he has told them that this dowry practice is un-Islamic, they still insist that he must accept it. They tell him that it is a gift that they are giving him. He is determined not to take it as he thinks it is not a gift.

I salute Mr. Salim on his attitude. It is certainly not a gift, but the poor parents think that they want to do their daughter’s marriage in accordance with the standard practice. May be they think that if they do not give him the dowry, an element of invalidity may creep into the marriage. I think he should not accept it no matter what they say. He must explain to them, perhaps enlisting the support of a scholar in their area, that Islamic marriage allows no room for such dowry. He should then tell them that the dowry is a Hindu custom that has crept into the marriage practices of Muslims who live side by side with Hindus in India. That should convince them that it is better for everyone to stick to the Islamic way, which gives the woman her rights better than under any other system.

Place of pilgrimage sacrifice

It is not open for anyone to introduce changes into Islamic worship. We offer our worship in the manner and form the Prophet has taught us, particularly with respect to prayer and pilgrimage. The emphasis on these is due to what the Prophet has said concerning them. With respect to prayer, he said, "Pray as you have seen me pray", and with respect to pilgrimage, he said, "Learn your rites from me". But there will be no shortage of people behaving in the wrong manner, even in matters of worship. Mr. A.P. Mangilay tells me of a friend of his who did not offer the sacrifice required in pilgrimage. When he was asked about that omission he replied that he would be doing the sacrifice when he goes back home.

Pilgrimage is done at a particular time and particular place. This man went to pilgrimage at the right time and place. Why has he chosen to do one of the pilgrimage rites at a different place? Had anyone suggested to him to do the tawaf around the most famous mosque in his home country, he would have thought the suggestion ludicrous. The same applies to the sacrifice. It must be offered with the rest of pilgrimage duties, at Makkah or the Haram area. That applies if he must do the sacrifice as a duty, which is required of people who choose the tamattu’ or the qiran methods. But if he chose the ifraad method, he would have no sacrifice to make as a duty. It become only recommended.

My reader asks why we read the Qur’an aloud in Fajr, maghrib and Isha prayers. The reason is that we have learned this from the Prophet who prayed in this manner. This means that God wants us to pray in this fashion. We follow the Prophet’s footsteps.

The same reader has another question on prayer, and in answer I would like to tell him that if he misses Fajr prayer through oversleeping, he should offer it immediately when he wakes up. He should not busy himself with anything other than offering the prayer. If he needs to take a shower first, for purification, he should do so, but he may not busy himself with anything else first, such as shaving or having breakfast.

For any person to pay zakah, he should own more than the threshold of zakah, which is the equivalent of 85 grams of gold, and to be so for a year. If after one year of owning such an amount, he is still in possession of it or any higher amount, he is a zakah payer. He calculates what he has and pays his zakah at the standard rate of 2.5 percent. But a man with a salary of SR1,500 a month is unlikely to be a zakah payer.