Q. Our family back home is a closely-knit one. Against my normal practice, when I was on vacation this year I refused to visit one of my sisters because her son has married a Christian woman, and the marriage was done in a church. She continues to go to church for prayer on Sundays. My family is hard on me, thinking that I am taking an intolerable attitude. I feel that unless the marriage is solemnized according to Islamic law, I should continue to boycott the family. I would like to know whether my attitude is correct. Is it permissible for a Muslim to partake of food and drink in such a house? Are the prayers and other Islamic acts of worship offered in that house by my sister and her husband, i.e. the parents of my nephew, valid and acceptable to God? Under what conditions is a Muslim permitted to marry a Christian woman?
T.M.F.I., Jeddah
A. If we start by answering the last question first, we say that the marriage of a Muslim man to a Christian or a Jewish woman is permissible, as God states clearly in Verse 5 of Surah 5. God has not attached any special conditions or mentioned particular circumstances to make such a marriage valid. This means that the requirements are the same as that for any marriage, which means that it is a contract in which both parties enter freely, without pressure or compulsion. Other than that, what is required to make the marriage contract valid is the same in all situations.
Islamic marriage is completed when the contract is made. Normally it is a verbal contract, with a commitment by the woman’s father or guardian acting on her behalf by a power of attorney, and an acceptance by the man. When this is done in the presence of a minimum of two witnesses, the marriage is complete. A dowry should be specified, which is payable by the man to the woman, and it becomes her property in the full sense of the word.
A Christian marriage is a little different, with the priest or a person from a marriage registrar’s office asking each of the two parties whether they take the other for their wedded spouse. If both answer in the affirmative, they are pronounced man and wife. In a church, the priest will add certain duties of loving and cherishing the other party until death.
This means that, as formalities go, there is little difference between the two types of marriage. What remains at issue is whether it is right for a Muslim to marry in a church. The answer is that it is not right, because it implies a recognition of the validity of what is said in a church about God, particularly the false claim that He has a son. Some scholars also speak of the unacceptability of non-Muslim witnesses, but they look at this from the point of view of a witness having some authority over the person he is testifying for or against. This is, however, an issue where scholars are not unanimous.
If we now consider the marriage the reader is asking about, I would say that the family should have taken the right step of consulting a scholar before making the arrangements. A scholar would have told them that they should have the marriage done according to the Islamic way, with commitment and acceptance in front of witnesses. This they have not done. It is still preferable to do so now. But the marriage that has taken place is not invalid, since both parties declared their acceptance of it in front of a large number of witnesses. Everyone who knows them, as well as the law of the land, recognize that they are married. Then anyone who says they are not is accusing them of adultery, which is not the case.
Our reader has taken an attitude in support of abiding by the Islamic law, and may God reward him for that. But he has been hard, risking the alienation of his sister and her entire family. This makes his stand unacceptable to them, and would make them refuse to listen to anything he has to say. Thus, rather than giving advice that might be acted upon, he would alienate himself from them. The result is that they would go one way and he goes another way. If there is something to be corrected in this relationship, it will not be. Besides, why would he not eat in his sister’s house when Muslims are encouraged to have good social relations with the followers of other religions, particularly Christians, as long as they do not adopt a hostile attitude to Islam? It is God who says: "The food of the people who received revelations before you (i.e. Christians and Jews) is permissible to you, and your food is permissible to them." (5: 5)
The reader wonders whether prayers offered by his sister and her husband are acceptable to God? I find the question very strange. What would make a prayer of one person unacceptable on the basis of an action done by another? Even if the action is strictly forbidden and the other person has not expressed any objection to it, the most that can be said against that person is that he failed to counsel his friend or relative against it. That does not make his own worship invalid.
A driver’s prayers
Q.1. I work as a long distance driver, traveling sometimes across the Kingdom and sometimes even to neighboring countries. I would like to know how do I offer my prayers when on a journey.
Q.2. If a married expatriate remains away from home for three years with his family living at home, is there any ruling against this?
Q.3. If a person saves, say, SR1,000 every month, how does he calculate his zakah?
A.H. Shaibu, Al-Qurayat
A.1. Every time you travel, you should shorten your 4-rakaah prayers to two each. Thus, Dhuhr, Asr and Isha may be offered in 2 rakaahs for each of them. This is a concession which is available from the moment you start your journey. Thus, if you leave home at 12 noon and shortly after you have left town Dhuhr falls due and you stop to pray, you offer that prayer in 2 rakaahs only, even though you have not gone more than a few kilometers on your journey. This is because you have started traveling and all the concessions applicable to travelers are available to you. You may also, if you wish, combine the two day prayers, i.e. Dhuhr and Asr, and the two night prayers, i.e. Maghreb and Isha, together, offering each two at the same time, one after the other.
You may continue to use these concessions throughout your journey until you come home. Thus, if you travel to Jeddah and stay 2 or 3 days, then travel to Madinah where you spend another couple of days before traveling on to Tabuk, then to Jordan and back, staying a few days in each place of call, you continue to use this concession throughout. The only time when you stop doing so while still on a journey is when you intend to make an extended stay, say 3 weeks or longer, in any one place.
A.2. If a married man is working abroad and he stays for a long period, leaving his wife at home, he may do so provided that his wife is in full and voluntary agreement. If she does not agree to his prolonged absence, then he should not be away from home for more than four months at a time. Separation from family is not good for either husband or wife. However, when the two agree to something of this nature, hoping that it will bring them future security, they may do so. But if the wife feels her husband’s absence to be too hard on her, he may not leave her alone for a very long period.
A.3. A person who saves SR1,000 a month will soon have more than the threshold of zakah, which is equivalent to the value of 85 grams of gold, i.e. around SR3,500. When he has this amount of savings, in excess of his immediate living needs, he becomes a zakah payer, and he should mark the date as his zakah date. Next year and each subsequent year, on the same date, he calculates what he has. If it remains over the threshold of zakah, he must pay zakah for all he has at the rate of 2.5 percent. Thus, this man saving SR1,000 each month will have SR15,500 after one year, and SR27,500 the following year. He pays zakah for these amounts respectively. Suppose that during the following year, he buys a house in his home country for SR30,000, and on his zakah date he is left with only SR9,500, he pays zakah for that amount. The fact that at one point during the year he spent all his savings and was left with less than the threshold of zakah does not affect his liability, because he remained in a good financial position throughout the year.