As we continue our discussion of the manners of Islamic greetings, we have two Hadiths with an identical message, but different wording. They speak about a person joining a group, then leaving ahead of the others. Both are reported by Abu Hurayrah, who was one the most prolific of the Prophet’s companions in reporting his Hadiths. The first may be translated as follows: “If any of you come to join a group of people, he should offer his greeting. If he then departs, he should again offer a greeting. The second greeting is in no way more right than the first.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Ahmad and Al-Nassaie).
In this Hadith the Prophet gives clear instructions to a person joining a group or leaving them. He should be the one to offer the greeting of peace, Assalamu alaikum. Both are the right thing to do, because they are indicative of good manners and friendliness toward one’s community. Sometimes, a person wants to leave silently, either because he does not wish to disrupt the discussion, or because he wants his departure not to be noticed. While circumstances like these may be considered according to the particular situation, the normal thing which follows the Prophet’s guidance is to indicate one’s departure by offering a greeting of peace.
Besides, when a person is noticed to leave quietly, without offering a greeting, his behavior may raise questions or doubts, particularly if the people he is leaving have been discussing something private. The greeting of peace is significant in such respect. It tells the people so greeted that they are in peace with the person as he arrives and as he leaves. So, it is reassuring. Hence, the Prophet makes it clear that the second greeting, i.e. at the point of departure, is equally right as the first, which people normally expect by all comers.
The second Hadith quotes the Prophet as saying: “If any of you arrives at a group of people, he should offer a greeting. If he sits down then wishes to leave before the group is ready to disperse, he should again offer a greeting. The first greeting is in no way more required than the second.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Abu Dawood, Al-Tirmidhi and Al-Nassaie). This version is clearer about the situation the Prophet describes. It is one in which an individual joins a group, sits with them, then departs before them. This excludes a person who passes by a group, greets them and leaves. In this case, one greeting is all that is required. But when this individual joins the group and sits with them for a while and then wants to depart, he should offer another greeting.
We note that in the second Hadith the order in the concluding sentence is changed. It says that the first greeting is equal to the second in the fact that both are required. People feel that the first greeting is more important. As the man is joining a group, he should be the one to greet them so that his arrival is felt in a friendly way. Hence, the Prophet makes it clear that the second greeting, at the point of departure, is not to be taken lightly. It is equally required.
Another Hadith is reported by Mu’awiyah ibn Qurrah, who relates what his father, a companion of the Prophet, told him: “Son, if you are with a group of people and hope to gain the benefit of their meeting, but you have to leave early for something, then say Assalamu alaikum to the people. If you do, you will take a part of the benefit they gain in that meeting. A group of people who meet and then depart without remembering God in their talk leave as though they were meeting around the carcass of a dead donkey.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and Al-Tabarani)
Al-Tabarani’s version is slightly different, as it quotes Qurrah as saying: “When we were with God’s messenger, and hoped to gain…” In other words, the statement is not a direct advice, but a report which explains the practice to be followed. It provides an aspect of God’s grace as He rewards the person who departs and greets his fellows on departing for whatever good takes place in their meeting even after his departure.
The Hadith also adds a different point, which shows that Muslims should always take the opportunity of meeting together in order to help each other maintain the path that earns God’s reward. If they were to limit themselves to gossip and idle play in their meeting, then that meeting is not much better than sitting next to the corpse of a dead donkey. The description is very vivid, as it is the case in all Hadiths. And, mentioning God’s name and remembering Him happens when people exchange greetings as they meet. A newcomer may say only Assalamu alaikum, but the greeting includes God’s name Salam. The reply is likely to be even better and add a wish for God’s grace to be given to the one who offered the greeting.
Islamic greeting is encouraged in all situations. Indeed the proper practice includes situations where other people might not even think of offering a greeting. Abu Hurayrah mentions that he heard the Prophet saying: “Whoever meets his brother should offer a greeting to him. If they are walking together and a tree or a wall separates them, then they are back together, he should offer him a new greeting.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and Abu Dawood)
We can easily imagine the situation, with two friends walking together and at one point a tree or some sort of barrier makes them part so as to walk on its two sides. This is a momentary separation. Indeed they may continue to talk without thinking of stopping while they walk past the tree. Yet it is recommended for both of them to renew their greeting by saying it again.
A similar Hadith is related by Anas ibn Malik, who served the Prophet for over ten years. He mentions that “the Prophet’s companions may be walking together and a tree happens to be along their way. As they walk past it some of them walk to its right and some to its left. When they pass it and join each other again, some of them would offer a greeting to the others.” (Related by Al-Bukhari in Al-Adab Al-Mufrad and Al-Tabarani)
This suggests that this was common practice among the Prophet’s companions. Today, our practice is different, because we have lost our sense of what a greeting of peace means in terms of strengthening social relations. The sooner we revive such practices, the more closely knit our community will be.
Arab News Islam 24 January 2003