‘I Wish My Husband Were Dead’

Women sometimes wish their husbands would die because of the cruelties they commit. One woman told her story. She was married when she was very young and now has four children. She and her husband disagree on everything — from the way to raise children to opinions on current events. The children notice their arguments and are affected deeply by them. The poor woman tries to make everything seem normal, but the more she tries, the more fights they have and the more the children are affected.

She has thought of asking for a divorce; she is fortunately able to support herself and her children. She knows that if she asks for a divorce her husband will get the children and he would enjoy torturing her with his power to keep them away from her. She feels sure that her children would suffer terribly without her to protect them. She has seen the marks on their bodies from the beatings he gave them — this happened when she was present. What would happen if she were not there? What would happen if he refused to allow her to see them?

The woman feels she has no choice but to stay with the man and attempt to live with him. She says she is now insensitive to the beatings and insults. She feels happy and comfortable only when she prays to God for him to die. His death, she says, is her only hope of salvation and guaranteeing that her children are never beaten again.

She does not know what to do; she has tried everything. Both her family and his family recognize the problem but neither is able to help. They have talked and talked to him but to no purpose. What is even worse is that her husband is an educated man. The woman has asked him to take another wife but he refuses. She has also asked him to see a family therapist or a counselor but he refuses that as well. She feels that she can do nothing but pray for his death. She feels terrible about herself and the situation but she is trying to save herself and her children. She knows it is wrong to pray for his death but in her utter frustration and helplessness, she knows nothing else to do.