Recently, I have been receiving letters from readers who live outside the Kingdom’s three main cities of Jeddah, Riyadh and Dammam. Apparently, they find my weekly column rather serious and lacking in entertainment value, and perhaps searching for aims that are unreachable and achievements that are hard to realize.
They believe that in real life I must be a jolly good fellow and full of fun, but my column fails to reflect this side of me. They expect me to do whatever is necessary to meet their expectations.
I really do not know how to please my readers or introduce the changes they suggest. I do not know how to change my style of writing nor can I, at my late age, behave differently. Maybe the easy way out is to begin introducing granny stories in my column to suit the topic of the week.
But no sooner had the thought occurred to me than my mind became so clogged with anecdotes that I became confused and unable to relate them to the events of our time. Perhaps this is because today’s events are even more hilarious than granny’s anecdotes. They live up to the Arab saying that the worst of calamities makes one laugh to the point of madness, and then act accordingly.
Luckily for me, and for those readers who are looking for humor in their weekly columns, I then remembered a story of my granny’s that might be appropriate. It is the story of the three bulls and the hungry lion.
One afternoon, the hungry lion was resting in the shade of a huge tree; he had failed to catch a mule or gazelle and was hoping for better luck. Soon enough, three healthy bulls appeared in the distance - one black, the second bright red and the third as white as chalk.
The lion welcomed the three bulls, invited them to graze on the surrounding grass and assured them of his friendship. A few days later, the lion took the black and red bull aside and told them that the white bull might draw the attention of the dangerous animals with its bright white color. He convinced them that for the sake of everyone’s safety, the white bull must disappear. Thus the lion ate the white bull, and they continued on their journey.
Two days later, the lion took the black bull aside. He said the bright red bull posed a real danger to them. Its bright red color would draw the attention of the dangerous animals. The black bull was in full agreement, and the lion quickly finished the bright red bull.
The two continued on their journey for a number of days. Before they reached their final destination the lion talked openly and frankly to the black bull. The lion told him that, after such a long walk, he was feeling hungry and had to eat him. The black bull thought for a little while and responded calmly: You started eating me when you ate the white bull. Could Iraq be that white bull?
Arab News Features 3 March 2003