Q. Could you please explain how a woman should conduct herself with her mahrams. Could she shake hands with them, kiss or hug a mahram and appear in front of him without her head covering? Could you also explain who are the mahrams, and whether cousins could be considered in this category?

You also mentioned that a woman may use hair coloring, but does that not affect her ablutions like using nail enamel?

V. Nishat

A. Mahrams are those close relatives that a woman may not marry, such as her father, son, nephew, uncle, etc. Certainly cousins are not mahrams, even though they may be very close as in the case of cousins of similar age who live in the same house. With such mahrams a woman conducts herself as people normally do at home. Of course a woman need not put on her head covering in front of her brothers, uncles or nephews, let alone her father or grandfather. She may shake hands with any of these, and be close to them.

It is authentically reported that when Fatimah, the Prophet’s daughter visited him, he would stand up to greet her, kiss her and sit her in his place. When he visited her, she would do the same, rising to meet him and kissing him. This was done on a regular basis and in front of people. The Hadith mentioning this is reported by Aishah, in phraseology that suggests a habit rather than a one-off occasion.

When we speak about relatives whom a woman may not marry, her father-in-law and stepson come in this category. However, a woman should conduct herself differently with these. While she need not wear her scarf in front of her adult stepson or her father-in-law, she should be careful about being too familiar or liberal. The Prophet was asked about in-laws relations, and he described it as ‘death’. What he means is that when things are allowed to go out of hand in such a relationship, this could spell a ruinous atmosphere that kills family relations. The same applies to a man with his mother-in-law, her daughters and his adult stepdaughter. Caution must be the guide in dealing with them. Where there is no chance that things could go wrong, one may be more relaxed. Otherwise, we should be careful.

Hair dye or color is different from nail enamel, because enamel forms a layer over the nail that prevents water from reaching it. A color does not form such a layer. If a woman colors her hands with henna, for example, her hand may be red, but when she washes her hands, they become wet and water certainly reaches her skin.

Praying Together or Individually

Q. Because we had to meet a relative at the airport, we missed Friday prayer in the mosque. We prayed Zuhr when we arrived back home. However, we were told that we could not pray in congregation because it was a Friday, and we had to pray separately. But we were very uncomfortable about this. Please comment.

(Name and address withheld)

A. What you were told about praying separately was wrong. The Prophet led his companions in prayer when they all missed their dawn prayer after having marched for much of the night and were very exhausted. This means that it is perfectly appropriate, or indeed encouraged, for a group of people who have missed a prayer for a valid reason to offer that prayer in congregation once they can do so. The point that has been given to you is that missing a Friday prayer is a special case. It is indeed a special case because a person who misses Friday prayer in the mosque does not pray it as a Friday prayer, or Juma, but as Zuhr prayer.

What could happen is that several people arrive in a mosque after the Friday prayer has finished. If they were to offer Zuhr together in a group, they may give the impression that they were forming a separate congregation because they may have some objection to the Imam who led the Friday prayer. In order to avoid giving such an impression, they are recommended to pray separately. But in your case, you were offering your Zuhr prayer at home. There would be no chance of giving anyone a wrong impression. It would have been better for you to offer that prayer together in a congregation, with one of you leading the prayer and the other two joining him.

Arab News Islam 21 March 2003