There is an Arabic proverb: “Traveling is a form of torture.” Of course it springs from the days where people crossed the desert on camels, completely at the mercy of nature and its caprices. Things have changed today and traveling is supposed to be enjoyable; thus airlines compete to provide passengers with both comfort and pleasure. At least that is the theory; what we know is that the reality sometimes falls short.

After returning from vacation, a colleague wrote an article on his experience with airline services and airport adventures. Essentially his article compared two airlines, one an Arab airline and the other a non-Arab one. Things got started when he read about the various travel packages offered by different carriers to exotic destinations. He was convinced by the advertising and went straight to an airline office, dreaming of a relaxing and entertaining holiday. He began by asking the clerk about the special offers during the summer. The clerk looked wearily at him and said, “I don’t have time to answer your question.” Somewhat shocked, my colleague then asked, “Who on your staff does have time for me?” Whereupon the clerk gave him a toll-free number which he soon found connected him only to a constantly ringing never-answered phone. So much for that airline. He then went along to another airline and found things were much pleasanter and more enjoyable. The people in that office were both helpful and professional and he switched to the airline they represented, deciding that his future traveling will be done with this carrier. He felt happy to be treated as a guest and to be getting good service for his hard-earned money.

Here ends my friend’s story. When I heard it, I said that I too had had a memorable experience this summer with an airline. Once I was on board, I felt that I was in a market with people talking loudly and shouting at one another, with flight attendants giving directions at the top of their voices — in other words, a feeling of general chaos. Add to the chaos children who seemed to be running wild and behaving as if they were in a playroom. No, I do not dislike children; in fact, I enjoy them and their company and they seem to enjoy me as well. When it comes to traveling long hours with a group of people whom you don’t know, however, you would expect parents to exercise some proper control of their children and their children’s behavior. Soon, I am happy to say, things did calm down a bit and the passengers were quieter. Then the attendants appeared with trolleys laden with newspapers — except for the one I wanted of course. As I was asking for another one, the trolley was rolled away and so I decided I didn’t really need a newspaper. After all, there were movies and video programs. So I checked the in-flight magazine, looking for something to watch. I was able to find a movie that was entertaining and I settled back to watch it. Suddenly I realized a blurred spot moving around the screen; then I realized that it was being used for covering actresses’ bare arms and legs! I had to watch the movie and also try not to be distracted by the blur. Then I remembered that the national carrier only has films and movies that have been censored — never mind that the films and movies are sold in our video shops and also shown on TV! The airline obviously has a different idea of what is right to show its passengers. Feeling somewhat frustrated, I then decided to go to sleep; it seemed the only thing left for me to do.

A flight attendant asking me what I wanted to eat soon awakened me. I glanced at the menu and asked for chicken; she looked annoyed and told me there was no more chicken. I had to take what was left. Why then has she bothered to ask me in the first place? And why can’t an airline provide enough food for all its passengers? It should be prepared if two hundred people want chicken instead of lamb! No doubt the day is coming when we will have to order our meal when we book our flight. So much for the promises of service the airlines throw at us. What it all comes down to in the end is — metaphorically at least — a bumpy ride.