JEDDAH, 17 December 2005 — For the sake of this story, she insisted on being called only by her initials: L.S. She is a Canadian-Egyptian woman who came to Arab News to describe her experience of abuse and divorce, and the nightmarish custody battle that ensued.

Today, L.S. lives with her 14-year-old daughter and youngest son of 16 months. Her three other daughters — 12, 10, and 4 — currently live with their father, who is currently violating a court-visitation order, and is appealing a court’s decision granting L.S. full custody of her children.

Born and raised in Canada, L.S. later moved with her family to the United States. She agreed to wed a Tunisian man in a traditional marriage in the early 90s. The process of meeting and marrying her husband lasted only five weeks. Later they moved to Jeddah, and this is where the marriage troubles began.

“We were too busy to notice any problems between us,” said L.S. “The problems started when we came to live here in Jeddah. We had no close relatives here. I had to stop working at that time because I had to stay with my children who need me in their young ages.”

After her father came to Jeddah to attempt to mitigate the couple’s differences, the husband — a psychologist — kicked them both out of the house. They moved into a furnished apartment and, while five months pregnant with the boy, L.S. told her father that she couldn’t return to her husband after 14 years of, as she described it, a “miserable” marriage.

“He was stubborn and controlling and completely insensitive to my feelings or my opinions,” she told Arab News, saying that any minor difference of opinion on her part was met with months of mysterious silence from him. She told her father that she wanted a divorce. “He was surprised that I went to court to ask for a divorce. He thought that I could not live without him and handle my life alone,” she said.

He refused not only to divorce her, but prohibited her from returning to the house. Her only recourse was to petition for a court-ordered divorce and return the $7 dowry. (She had agreed before her marriage on such a modest dowry because, she said, seven was a lucky number.) The divorce proceedings took three months. Soon after the divorce, L.S. gave birth to a boy. Now 16 months of age, the ex-husband has not asked to see his son, nor has he complied to go through the procedures of obtaining the child’s birth certificate.

A single mother with a new child in tow, L.S. then faced the difficult challenge of getting custody of her children. The courts allowed her visitation rights two days a week, but it gradually became apparent that the ex-husband would violate this order. The ex-husband began giving reasons why the girls should not visit their mother.

First, he said she didn’t have a legal guardian. Then he claimed that she lived alone in a furnished apartment, implying that it was a house of ill repute. He also claimed that the girls didn’t want to see their mother. When police asked the girls if they wanted to see their mother, they said no. But the 14-year-old, who later ran away to live with her mom, says their father forced them under threat to tell police they didn’t want to see their mother.

“To this day, the official court (visitation) order has not been implemented even once!” L.S. told Arab News. The ex-husband continued to petition judges to whittle away at his ex-wife’s right to see her children. As a medical doctor, the judges deferred to his demands.

Eventually visitation was reduced to one hour per month. Despite the fact that L.S. had her brother come from Canada to live with her as a guardian, the ex-husband continued to violate even this meager visitation right.

Then the allegations of abuse emerged. The14-year-old girl took matters into her own hands and ran away to live with her mother. “He would beat her for any silly reason,” L.S. told Arab News, saying the ex-husband was taking his anger at his ex-wife out on the eldest daughter.

“He hated it when she used to ask about everything that was happening around her. He wanted to control everything without being asked what is going on.” According to L.S., her daughter claims that her father once tied her hands behind her back and whipped with a belt until it was tattered. He also beat her with a metal rod across her skull and threw shoes at her head and stuck fingers in her eyes, said L.S.

“Worst of all, he locked her in the bathroom herself for a week until her friend’s father came to convince him to let her out,” she added. As an act of revenge for his daughter’s disobedience, he went to her school and withdrew her records so that she could not continue her studies.

“The judge gave L.S. full custody of all her children in March 2005, but the ex-husband has appealed the case,” said the lawyer representing L.S. who preferred to remain anonymous. It may take months for the courts to issue a new ruling.

Her former husband said that he would allow her to see her children on the condition that she returns to the marriage. A hearing was scheduled for this week, but the ex-husband did not appear. He has remarried a woman who, according to L.S., is a few years older than the eldest daughter.

“Because of his total disregard for authority, and the fact that he has been allowed to get away with not complying with the judge’s (visitation) orders, I have not seen my youngest daughter since April 2004,” said L.S.

“My eldest daughter has not been to school for more than a month.” She also added that she tried everything possible to get her rights through the courts, the police, the Canadian Embassy, the national society for human rights, the ‘Imarah’ (the provincial authority) and even his friends.

“This woman has really suffered a lot for the custody of her children, who are suffering with a father that does not know the meaning of fatherhood. She is a very patient woman,” said the lawyer representing L.S. “Will someone, anyone, step in and put an end to my suffering?” asked L.S. as the interview with her concluded.