Women normally dedicate much of their time to newborn babies and also give a lot of attention to their children. When the number of children increases, the burden on the mother increases. She spends a great deal of time looking after children neglecting both her husband and herself. Things can become complicated if the husband is unaware of the duties involved in caring for children and thinks that his wife has enough time to look after everyone. These men think that bringing up children is limited to feeding and cleaning.
Some mothers depend on baby-sitters or housekeepers to take care of their children. In some countries, a mother who doesn’t raise her child by herself is not worthy of being called a “mother”. Motherhood involves more than pregnancy and childbirth. Real motherhood means educating and embracing one’s child under all circumstances and being always available for emotional support and guidance.
Recently, at the Al-Babtain Educational Center in Riyadh, Fatima Al-Otaibi presented a story which exemplified the suffering of Saudi women with their husband and children. Fatima presented an actual social picture that shows the lives of many Saudi women who are shocked at the loss of their identities after marriage and motherhood. The character in the story abandoned herself, occupied only with fulfilling her children’s needs; her husband failed to give her the attention she needed and to satisfy her emotional and physical needs. A psychological drama began and their marriage was soon suffering from an excess of routine and boredom.
Women should have certain routines and tasks in their everyday lives but to be obliged and committed to these duties simply makes life boring and uninteresting. When we lose interest in a job we’re supposed to do, we get tired easily. And no one seems to consider this as a psychological problem as long as there are no complaints. Our culture teaches us not to complain or seek solutions for social problems.
Things can improve if we look at these daily routines from a different and more attractive perspective. A mother should accompany her daughter to school every day and attend few classes with her. On weekends, she can take her children to amusement parks for a change. There are so many means of entertainment that can be used to eliminate routine from our lives.
Family responsibility and needs are the normal demands of life. It is irrational to think that life can be free of problems. But it is expected that the problems women suffer from are increasing because of the cultural ideas inherited from previous generations which are not applicable to the present. It is exhausting and even impossible for a female to be a mother and a wife and an employee leading a successful life.
This is not only an issue in the Saudi community. It is important to realize that the traditional routine in which a woman spends most of her time alone inside her house without her husband’s company creates a huge gap between the two and this leads to psychological problems. In spite of all the support for increasing the Saudi woman’s role intellectually and economically, her social problems are very complicated and need special handling and treatment. Awareness is required to deal with them because women sometimes lack the courage to stand up for their rights or talk about their problems.
