Executive assistants are good at the art of deflecting one incoming call after another in a valiant defense of their bosses’ right to sit in their office all day checking stock prices on the Internet. The executive assistant is as loyal to this craft as the ancient swordsmen of Japan were to theirs. Woe to anyone who needs to get past these masters.
Their tactics are simple yet effective. When a call comes in from a person who needs to speak to the general manager, the first line of defense is to pepper the caller with questions. The first question is about the caller’s identity. The second question is about the caller’s reasons for needing to speak to the general manager. If the identity and the motive reveal the caller to be a lowly citizen, then the guard goes on the offense: His majesty is in a meeting; his majesty is on the other line; his majesty isn’t in at this time: “May I take a message?”
Sometimes, the caller has obtained a top-secret intelligence in the form of a secondary phone number. This number might connect the caller to another line, one ring-of-defense closer to his target. It is here that the caller will discover the manager’s best defender: The imperial guard, the executive secretary. This person is at the top of his game: The best the manager has in the art of avoiding his responsibilities.
The executive secretary will deflect anyone who is not a powerful relative, an important businessman or government figure, a close friend, or, otherwise, somebody who doesn’t register on the “List of Important Saudi Family Names”. If the caller falls into any of the aforementioned categories, then he will be connected to the manager. If not, the caller will fail in his quest to get past the final ring of defense.
On the other hand, if the caller is a person of importance to the general manager, then the executive defender will cheerfully allow the caller through. Inside this hallowed ground, the general manager is usually doing one of the following: Checking his stock prices on the Internet; talking to a dear friend he hasn’t seen since the previous night’s dinner; or discussing with his beloved wife plans for the weekend or the lunch menu.
Work is not an issue in the general manager’s agenda. He has already delegated his important and critical tasks to trustworthy appointees to his royal court. What matters to his court is the preparation of colorful and utterly useless monthly reports, which the general manager can present whenever needed to justify his position.
But all jesting aside: The general manager is supposed to be one among thousands of other responsible people in important decision-making positions. They were chosen to serve their community and listen to people’s complaints and to act accordingly to what best serves the greater good.
The desperate phone caller could be undergoing terrible circumstances, or in need of important information or assistance. The caller could be tired of bouncing around to different departments and has a legitimate complaint. The caller usually has something of importance to tell the general manager, and the general manager should do his job.
To acquire the general manager’s private number or personal mobile number is almost impossible, even when it is supposed to be available to facilitate work procedures and serve everyone. General managers aren’t aware of the huge responsibility that falls upon their shoulders. They must dedicate their time to solving common people’s problems and not complicate them by being occupied following up stock market news. And general managers should inform their loyal guardsmen that their primary job isn’t to deflect all inquiries using their masterful art of phone war!
