Q. During a heated argument a man said to his wife, “As from today, there is no relationship between you and me.” He did not utter the normal word of divorce, always used in his community. The following day, the couple made up and resumed their marital relation as if nothing had happened. Is this to be considered a case of divorce? If so, does it count as one divorce or three?
Z. Haque
A. Marriage is a clear contractual relation that comes about as a result of clear statements intended to take a well-defined effect.
It is terminated in a similar way, with a deliberate action using clear words that have definitive meaning to the parties concerned and in society. This is the proper way to establish or terminate a relationship.
From another point of view, the Prophet (peace be upon him) makes it clear that actions are determined by the intention behind them. He says: “Actions are but by intentions. Each person will have only what he has intended.” Thus a person who offers prayers in the mosque only to pretend that he is attending to his worship duties will have no reward for his prayer. He may be liable for punishment if his intention is to cheat.
In this case, the man’s intention does not clearly appear in his statement, which is unquestionably ambiguous. It may be interpreted in several ways. Therefore, he has to state what his intention was at the time. Most probably he will say that he had no intention to divorce his wife, but he was simply threatening her that the argument could have serious consequences on their relations. This is clearly apparent in the fact that the following day the two of them settled their argument and resumed their normal relation.
The reader asks if the case is one of divorce, would it count as three divorces? How could it be? Even if divorce is uttered three or a thousand times on the same occasion, it counts only as a single divorce. In this case, no divorce has taken place.
Repentance and Its Acceptance
Q. When I was young, I did certain things, which are not permissible in Islam. Since then I performed the Umrah and also declared my repentance many times. Still I feel ashamed of my past deeds and fear that God might not have accepted my repentance or that He will make my shameful deeds known to other people. I dread this last possibility and feel that it might be devastating for me. Please advise.
A. Rehman
A. You seem to be too hard on yourself. The Prophet (peace be upon him) says: “A person who sincerely repents having done a sin is just like one who has not sinned.” You have genuinely repented and did the Umrah. This should be enough for you not to think of that sin again, provided that it was something that concerns you and God, having nothing to do with any person’s rights. You have repeatedly expressed your repentance. God says that He is the One who accepts repentance. This means that He will accept your repentance and not question you about the sin you committed, if He so pleases. You should not think of it again. The only thing you have to do is to maintain your determination not to repeat it again. Still, even if you do repeat it, then repent of it again, you have nothing to worry about.
Using Nicknames
Q. Is it appropriate from the Islamic point of view to call one’s friend by his nickname?
Mamoon, Dammam
A. If the person you are calling agrees to be called by this nickname, then it is acceptable. The Prophet says: “Call your brother by the name he loves best.” If the nickname is a derogatory one, or causes pain to the person concerned, then it is forbidden to use. God says in the Qur’an: “Do not insult one another by (opprobrious) epithets. Ill-seeming is a name connoting wickedness (to be used of one) after he has believed. Those who do not repent are indeed wrongdoers.” (49: 12)