A frustrated businessman in his 40s brought me some of his emotional woes. Egyptian Abdul Sattar’s story begins in Jeddah where he worked for a leading construction company. As he was both hard-working and clever, he received quick promotions and the accompanying salary increases. In 10 years, he had accumulated a substantial sum in the bank so he married a rich and beautiful woman in Alexandria, his home town. Shortly after that, he left his job in Jeddah to open a small construction company in Alexandria. As his business flourished, he found less and less time to spend at home; he left early and returned late which was not good for his family life.
About this same time he hired a secretary. Though plain, Najwa was hard working and loyal. Everyone praised her competence and abilities. Gradually she rose to the No. 2 position in the company. He bought her a car and depended on her for everything. She even took care of such personal matters as buying clothes and seeing to his meals.
The company then suffered some reverses and was hit hard. There was no business; it was impossible to pay the debts and the company ended up in court. Most of the workers were laid off and Najwa’s car was sold; the man was even unable to pay her salary. Matters grew even worse when his wife left him. To escape his debtors, he went into hiding and Najwa supplied him with money for his needs. In the end, the company was liquidated and he was left bankrupt and miserable. He went to Cairo but at age 45, it was hard to make a fresh start. Najwa, however, did not desert him; she treated him with respect, sympathy and, above all, with love. By this point, his wife had left for Canada to live with her sister. Her brother-in-law offered Abdul Sattar a good job in Canada if he would come there.
He, however, did not want to leave Najwa who was 29. He had no doubt about her love for him even though he had never told her of his feelings for her. Her delicate nature and his being married might have prevented her from telling him of her love. She was not beautiful or rich but she was always loyal and caring. He wants my help and will do whatever I say. I told him that at the age of 45, it is not right of him to seek my opinion in such matters. "Ask your own heart. I will say no more."
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YOUNG Zahia’s husband was sent to Paris on business for his company. Though it was for only three months, Zahia felt that it would never end. She counted the days until his return. For some reason, however, he did not return at the end of three months — nor even after four or five. Telephone calls and letters did little to lessen the pains of separation. Her only consolation was her baby.
She wrote: "As the months passed, some doubts crept into my mind. Why doesn’t he come back? Is it because of another woman? He would not agree to take me to Paris. My worst fears were confirmed when one day a French woman answered my call. Before the telephone was hung up, I heard angry voices as though from the far end of a room. I tried several times to resume the conversation but nobody answered the phone. I tried all night but there was no answer.
"I was thrown into a state of agony and jealousy. Is that woman the reason why he is not here? Doubts racked me. I could not sleep that night or the next ones. I tried again and again to contact him but there was no response. The telephone went on ringing as if he had abandoned the house. The reply I got when I asked for him at his Paris office was that he had not been to the office for several days. All my attempts to locate and talk to him failed. This continued for eight days. I was on the brink of a nervous breakdown and finally, I decided to go to Paris and find out exactly what was going on.
"On the ninth day, my phone rang. It was my husband. Instead of expressing relief at hearing his voice, I accused him of unfaithfulness and a lack of concern for me and the baby. He listened patiently to my accusations. When I had finished, he said he had been admitted to hospital for food poisoning the day I had called and that he was calling me to let me know he was out of hospital. When I heard he would be returning the next day, I was delighted and all my doubts fled. I began to prepare for him as though we were going to have a second honeymoon.
"When he arrived I was shocked to see the changes. He looked very ill, thin and pale. He said there was nothing to worry about, that it was the effect of the food poisoning. He did not seem to care about our baby; sometimes he spoke in ways that I could not understand. After a few days he improved a little but was still in a foul mood. Whenever I asked him to see a doctor, he refused. Though he returned to his office, he was never his old self again. I suspected that while he was away, he might have contracted a certain well-publicized but incurable disease. I began to fear for my health and that of my child. Whenever I attempted to discuss the problem, he signaled me to be silent."
Now Zahia wants me to advise her on a course of action.
I replied to her that her wild imagination had caused her to draw some far-fetched conclusions. The disease she referred to could not appear in so short a time. I suggested that his present state might be due to withdrawal symptoms from drug addiction. Or it could possibly be another disease. The best course of action is to make him see a doctor. If he refuses, tell some of his close relatives to force him to.
