Nabila was only seventeen when “Salem” asked for her hand in marriage. She objected but her father presented her with a fait accompli. From the start of their life together, she was driven by her husband’s mistreatment to seek divorce, but neither her husband nor her father consented. Two months into her first pregnancy, her husband’s physical abuse drove Nabila to stay in her father’s home until the baby was born. Immediately her husband cast doubts on the paternity of the boy, accusing Nabila of getting pregnant after leaving his house. Finally, due to intervention by the family and a close look at the dates, he was convinced of his mistake.
“I then had two more children Reem and Rawan and endured abuse for the sake of my children. Again I asked my father to intervene so I could get a divorce, but once again he refused. I began to consider suicide or running away, simply to save myself from hell, but I feared for my children. One day I was preparing lunch and the meat burned, just as my husband walked in. He became furious and started hitting me so I told him to divorce me and he did. I thanked God wholeheartedly, but when my father realized what had happened, he forbade me to leave my husband’s house. He told me to sort things out myself and hire an attorney. I was divorced but remained in the house for three months suffering all manner of torture. One day I ran away to my neighbor’s house where I called my sister who sent my brother to get me. My husband refused to allow me to take my children and so I went to stay in my father’s house in Jeddah.”
After some time and following attempts at reconciliation, the couple got back together despite objections from Nabila’s father who, because of this, disowned her. In the new contract, Nabila’s dowry was set at SR30,000 and she inserted some stipulations allowing her to work or study if she wished; in case of divorce or desertion she would be provided with a home and alimony for herself and her children. Her husband grudgingly agreed. Life continued to be hard, and during this time, her husband met another woman and they decided to marry.
“One night our arguments got so heated that my husband tried to kill me. During the ensuing investigation, he alleged that he was disciplining me for misbehaving and accused me of being dishonorable. The officer suggested I stay at my brother-in-law’s (husband’s brother’s) house until the hearing and I agreed. I spent a week with my brother-in-law and his wife, feeling like an intruder. I was then moved to a charitable organization.
On the day of the hearing, I tried to explain my situation to the judge. My husband said that he would divorce me on condition that he paid nothing and that I couldn’t see my children. The judge set a date for another hearing in three months. When I arrived, I was told that my husband had divorced me a month before.”
Nabila then found a job in a hospital kitchen, continuing to live in charitable organizations. She discovered which schools her children went to and would call or visit to assure herself of their well-being. She was able to rent a house and did extra work for neighbors in return for food. Meanwhile ill-treatment including beating by his stepmother and father finally drove Mazen, Nabila’s first child, away from home and he came to live with his mother.
“A friend advised me to find an attorney to help me get permission to see my daughters and for the stipulations of my marriage contract to be enforced. I found a lawyer who agreed to take the case. We arrived at an agreement whereby I was allowed to see my daughters every weekend, but I have to use the police every time to enforce the judgment.” During these visits, Nabila learned the extent of her daughters’ suffering — attempts to marry them to men outside the country and also beatings. Nabila again turned to the courts and a ruling was issued which forbade the girls to be moved out of the country.
Nabila’s husband refused to respond to our questions.
Judge Saeed Al-Asmari, a former judge in the High Court of Jeddah, says that the stipulations in the marriage contract were inserted and accepted by both parties in front of witnesses; therefore they are binding. If one party refuses to abide by them, then the aggrieved party can file a suit to have them enforced. The mother should resort to a civil court to force her husband to comply with the judgment so that she can see her children at the specified times. She can also approach the court for a ruling preventing the girls from being taken out of the country. She must provide evidence for what she alleges and the judge will look into what is in the interest of the girls. If the older girl has been married off against her will then the marriage is void.
Talat Abdul Raheem Nakru who is Nabila’s lawyer says that he will file a suit in the High Court demanding that the stipulations in the contract be enforced and another one forbidding the father from taking the girls outside the country. He adds that he is attempting to get his client’s rights using the police. He wants proof of what the girls are subjected to by their stepmother in order for the mother to gain full custody. He indicated that the husband’s obstinacy is obstructing the course of justice.
— Arab News Features 17 October 2003
