Do couples who have been married ten, twenty years or more celebrate their anniversary as an attempt at playing the role of loving couples in front of relatives and friends and as an occasion to perform some cosmetic surgery on the marital relationship whose expiry date has long passed? In a recent study that created a lot of debate in the American press, the researcher Dr. William Robson confirmed that love expires after only three years. After that, the blazing fire of love begins to die down, leaving behind only cold kisses and some boredom and ennui.
Dr. Robson adds that couples who have been together for that length of time will not come to realize that bitter and inescapable truth that their love has expired until another year has passed. Love is like a wilted flower whose scent has disappeared forever. What is truly sad is that the love which has permeated those first three years may turn into neglect and carelessness and eventually into hatred.
In some cases one of the parties tries to end that relationship. Dr. Robson confirms that the brain chemistry that controls love keeps emitting charges of love and tenderness throughout those three years; then, just like a battery, it becomes empty and cannot be recharged. We should mention that for a long time it was thought that love had a seven-year expiry date; however, relationship experts have realized that love only survives for three years, plus a fourth in which those remaining feelings die out completely. What happens after is pure acting for the benefit of family and friends or for the sake of the children.
Does Marriage Lead to Happiness?
Dr. Richard Lucas, a professor of psychology in the United States, says that marriage can lead to happiness at the beginning of the relationship, but that a person who gets married simply in order to marry will soon feel that he was happier before marriage. Recent studies have shown that marriage can result in the general improvement of the couple’s life and thereby in their feelings of happiness — however, remaining in the marriage doesn’t guarantee eternal happiness. Researchers have discovered that for most married people, marriage leads to happiness in the first and second years but gradually less so in the following years.
Better to Keep Quiet
In order to keep his sanity a man often resorts to complete silence in the face of a wife’s questions such as: “Does this dress make me look fat?” A man remains silent because he knows very well that any answer may result in the loss of his peace of mind for at least a week. No matter whether he replies with, “I wouldn’t say that you are fat but at the same time you are not thin” or “The extra weight looks nice on you,” or “Don’t worry; I saw someone fatter than you yesterday.” A woman knows that if she wants an honest answer to her question about what she is trying on in a shop she must take along a friend, because if her husband will say that everything looks good because what he really means is, “Just buy it so I can go home and relax.”
John Gray in his book “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus” says that the differences between men and women come from the way that each thinks about appearances. If a woman goes to a party and finds that she is wearing the same outfit as some other woman, she will feel that it is the end of the world and she will not wear that outfit again, whereas a man would think nothing of it if he saw another man wearing the same suit or tie. John Gray advises a husband never to buy anything for his wife because if it is too tight, then it means that she is fatter than he thought, and if it is too big, then it means that he thinks she is fat.
Gray also advises a man that if his wife buys him two neckties, then she must decide which he should wear first because if he decides on one, then she will think that he doesn’t like the other one and that would bode ill for him. The author believes that the smart husband who wants peace and tranquility should know how to deal with his wife.
