Saturday, June 12, 9:00 a.m.: I wake up cheerfully, as today is the opening of the third National Dialogue Forum. I smile as I sip my morning coffee thinking how wonderful it is that half the participants this time are women. What’s more, this particular conference will be exclusively about women’s rights. What a drastic change from the first National Dialogue Forum (not so long ago) where not one woman was even invited.
6:00 p.m.: My eagerness to know about the forum soon weighs heavy on my nerves as the day drags on without news. There seems to be a rule of complete secrecy, and no journalist is allowed to attend. That seems a little ironic to me as it is supposed to be national dialogue and we are all entitled to at least listen to the proceedings of a conference that aims to discuss issues ostensibly concerning all of us. I remember how the whole family watched Donald Rumsfeld’s interrogation together, fervently discussing the event. Isn’t this a topic more worthy of our attention? Wouldn’t broadcasting the forum help us learn the art of eloquent and respectful debate from the intellectuals participating in it? Wouldn’t it bring us closer as a nation to see members from different groups exchanging and accepting each other’s views? How can we claim openness when everything is discussed behind closed doors?
11:30 p.m.: I go to bed, a little disappointed but still full of hope.
Sunday, June 13, 9:00 a.m.: I rush to read what the newspapers say about the opening day of the forum. I am happy to see that important issues are put forth. Issues like the need for women’s sections at governmental institutes, the need to put into law financial support for divorced women with children, and the need to scrutinize and change our school curriculums as they seem to focus mostly on men’s rights and tend to portray women in a negative light. Other issues that were put forward seem redundant and unnecessary, like a woman’s right to marriage or work, etc. Still, it is a very good start.
4:00 p.m.: I am ecstatic to read Saudi women openly asking for rights that were considered taboo just a few years back. I am extremely proud of the strength, eloquence, and courage of these women. I am even happier to see that these women come from different regions of the Kingdom and different vocational backgrounds.
12:30 a.m.: Just before I drift off to sleep, I wonder why other very important issues were neglected. Issues like the obstacles most women have to deal with on a daily basis: The constant demand for a male guardian’s permission, a male relative’s presence, women’s right to drive... Oh well, maybe tomorrow.
Monday, June 14, 10:00 a.m.: Today, I hear, more issues are put forth by women and men alike. The problem of rising domestic abuse against women and children finally gains the attention of people who can make a change. My heart skips a beat when I learn that shelters for abused women are actually being called for openly. I thought that would never happen in a country where a woman cannot even check into a hotel without a paper from her legal guardian. I always wondered how an abused woman was supposed to escape her abuser in a place where her abuser is the guardian that had to accompany her everywhere. Shelters are a great idea, but I also hope that one of the recommendations of the forum will be the need for new laws that punish men who abuse their female relatives.
3:30 p.m.: Wonder no more: I found out why issues like driving, male guardians, and male relative companions were not put forth. They were banned even before the forum began and those in charge of the forum cut off any discussion directed toward them. Not only that, but any recommendations regarding those issues were excluded. I am extremely disappointed.
5:00 p.m.: I read that some participants complained that the selection of delegates was biased in the sense that most of them were conservative. I guess that explains why some topics were off limits. More questions race through my mind: Who chose the participants in the first place? On what basis? Shouldn’t we get to vote as a nation who should talk on our behalf at such forums? Shouldn’t they be chosen so as to reflect all trends of thought evenly?
1:00 a.m.: I go to bed, but I do not sleep well. I recall a saying, “Be careful of the light at the end of the tunnel; it could be the light of an oncoming train.”
Tuesday June 15, 10:00 a.m.: The newspapers are all talking about the clash between Dr. Muhammad Al-Arifi and Dr. Wafa Al-Rasheed. Rumor has it that Dr. Al-Arifi commented that women in Saudi Arabia do not suffer from any violation of rights — on the contrary. As an example he states that women who participated in the 1992 driving demonstration are still practicing teachers at the university level. Dr. Al-Rasheed (one of the demonstrators) expresses her anger and sadness that an issue of 14 years is still being put forward and the controversy escalates with some participants threatening to leave.
I do not know exactly what was or was not said so I decide to wait before I judge.
7:00 p.m.: I am listening to Dr. Al-Arifi’s comments on Al-Arabiya channel and feel queasy. According to Dr. Al-Arifi, a major problem we face regarding education and women’s issues is the fact that some female university professors who studied abroad are negatively influencing our girls. These women, he adds, have a tendency to wear their abayas in a way that is unacceptable. Dr. Al-Arifi also comments on their dress sense and haircuts. I feel exactly the way I do when I hear a mutawwa in a shopping mall yelling at a woman asking her to wear her abaya in a certain way or leave the mall. I turn off the TV and go for a walk.
10:00 p.m.: The recommendations of the forum are withheld from the public. They have to be presented to Crown Prince Abdullah and discussed before they are published. Many participants, however, have already commented negatively on them, calling them “vague” and “elastic”. They say that they do not carry any practical weight as there is no authority in charge of implementing them. Moreover, there was no voting on any of them. The crown prince has no way of knowing how many people are in favor of a certain recommendation. I am not only disappointed, I am crushed.
2:00 a.m.: I close my eyes but sleep won’t come. What started out as optimism and enthusiasm suddenly seemed like naive and wishful thinking on my part. I recall the emotional roller coaster of the past few days and wonder how many other Saudi women had their hopes dashed when they realized that change was a mirage.
(Moodhy Al-Khalaf is a Saudi writer. She is based in Riyadh.)
