When I decided to pursue my education abroad nine years ago, my father called me in to an important meeting on the night of my departure. He addressed me, saying, “Consider yourself an ambassador on behalf of your whole country and thus act accordingly.” He added: “I want you to seek every opportunity to learn what is good and tell people there by your actions how good we are.”
On my arrival in the Kingdom nine years later, the first questions my late father asked me were, “What have you learned over the course of the past years from one of the leading Western societies, and how are you going to benefit your own people from the seemingly good things you have learned?” I have been asked the same questions by my close friends, colleagues and relatives since I returned to the Kingdom.
My answer has always been that I have learned many positive things. Among these are retaining an open mind, respecting people other than my own and learning the art of argument.
Having an open mind was the first thing that I learned, and I will make an effort to convince my own people to make it part of their mindset. The importance of having such an attitude lies, in my view, in the fact that it makes you ready and willing to receive favorably any thoughts, attitudes and customs without prior judgment as to whether they are good or not. Furthermore, open-mindedness does not limit your horizons to what is within your own reach. It allows you to accept what comes from your surroundings, and more precisely, the values with which you have been taught and raised. In addition, it is an avenue through which you can actively explore opportunities that are invisible to narrow-minded people.
I emphasize that I am not for acceptance of everything in an anarchistic revolution of morals and modes; rather it is not to limit our acceptance of others’ ideas to where our traits or experiences end.
Having great respect for people from other nations was another significant attitude that I adopted. We live in a diverse universe made up of many different cultures, languages, races, and backgrounds. This diversity can make all of our lives a lot more fun and interesting, but only if we show respect to those who are different from us. I managed to do a number of things that made me succeed in my effort.
I began by developing an understanding of the importance of respectful behavior and then proceeded by learning many ways through which I could show respect, including valuing others’ opinions; being considerate of people’s likes and dislikes; being sensitive to other people’s feelings; trying to learn something from others; never stereotyping people; showing interest and appreciation for other people’s cultures and backgrounds; not going along with prejudices and racist attitudes and learning to appreciate people’s differences rather than fear them.
Additionally, I have learned the invaluable art of arguing. The concept of arguing in itself is certainly nothing new. However, when and how to argue is in fact what needs further consideration and close observation. The importance of this vital issue is that passing good ideas along is largely contingent on how they are presented. We can get more out of life by having different perspectives to share and exchange.
While going through the experience of learning the art of arguing, I have observed several issues, including the idea that diversity, perspective and variation are natural parts of life. I have also come to the realization that having others with whom to share different points of view is a great thing, especially with the knowledge that no individual can grasp every reality, even about one simple thing.
Further crucial points when arguing are to try to merely discuss the issue under consideration, avoid personal attacks under all circumstances, and always begin your argument with positive remarks in which you acknowledge the other person’s opinion.
It is equally important that you need to have good, solid reasons for your arguments or ideas. Finally, make sure as you present your argument that you are not diminishing its effectiveness by nervous mannerisms and poor presentation skills.
Having the opportunity to live abroad for a number of years has greatly broadened my horizons and taught me these valuable attitudes and more. I now firmly believe that life seems counterproductive or even meaningless without acting according to these views. It is not an exaggeration to confirm at this point that I am a new person since my experiences abroad.
(Dr. Khalid Al-Seghayer is a Saudi academic. He is based in Riyadh.)
