DUBAI: Welcome, then, to the future — and the present — of Hollywood. A world in which studio execs can apparently only greenlight a project that’s based on existing IP or that is practically indistinguishable from it.
Apple TV’s “The Dink” is a film that appears to have been assembled by a combination of algorithm-driven data and Chat GPT, adding to the glut of similar sports comedies that have arrived in recent times — “The Hawk,” “Happy Gilmore 2,” “Chad Powers,” “Stick,” and so on. There’s barely an original line in the movie, let alone an original plotline.
Dustin “The Hammer” Boyd (Jake Johnson) is a former tennis prodigy trained by his overbearing father Chuck (Ed Harris). Having suffered a career-ending broken wrist in a match against a young Andy Roddick, Dustin has spent the past couple of decades wallowing in self-pity and self-mythologizing, convincing himself and his best (only) friend/assistant PJ (Aaron Chen) that Roddick’s life and triumphs should rightly have been his. Instead, Dustin’s coaching kids at his dad’s tennis club, where Chuck sees pickleball as a looming existential threat not just to his club, but to humanity. Invoking an old club rule, Chuck sets up a showdown match that — if the tennis players’ champion defeats the pickleballers’ champion — will see that threat banished. Dustin sees a chance to regain his father’s respect. But then he aggravates his old wrist injury. And when the doctor suggests he try pickleball as a way to ease back into sport, Dustin faces an existential crisis of his own. Will he turn to the dark side? He will; teaming up with an older woman — Candace (Mary Steenburgen) — who’s recently taken up pickleball to help her get over her divorce.
The impressive array of talent in the cast prevents “The Dink” from being a total bust. Chen’s deadpan comedy timing is always a delight; Harris brings a daunting authoritarianism to Chuck; Steenburgen is charming as always; and Johnson has the lovable loser thing down pat. And Ben Stiller makes a typically amusing cameo as Dustin’s doctor.
But there’s only so much an actor can do to make you forget that you already know how “The Dink” goes, and the few laughs along the way aren’t worth the time spent confirming it.
