Several women want to know the trick to handle short-tempered and nervous husbands so that their married lives are not wrecked and their children do not become victims of a broken family.
Some of them also wonder if it is best to set a limit to the amount of spousal rage they will tolerate to preserve their self-respect and marriage. Recently a miserable woman torn between her injured pride and duty to her children wrote to the editor of the American Lady’s Home Journal asking how she should handle her husband’s violent temper.
“My husband is extremely nervous and hot tempered. He shouts at our kids and me for the silliest reasons — and at the most unexpected times. I am particularly fearful for the kids as his conduct might cause some psychological disorder in the children. As I am being humiliated, as well, I sometimes think of filing for divorce. The thought of the kids’ future alone deters me from such an action.”
The editor advised her that she should do something to restrain her husband’s mood swings.
“As you pointed out in your letter, you should continue your attempt to maintain the peaceful atmosphere at home as much as possible — even if you have to suppress some of your feelings at least in the beginning. On the other hand, you should discuss the issue with him. You should make him understand that your relations with him do not call for such violent outbursts, and they wound your feelings and that eventually it will wreck the marriage and break up their home.”
The editor also advised her that she should be very careful and discreet in handling the issue.
“It should be done in such a way that he should feel that you are willing to understand his problems which throw him into fits of fury and that you are ready to help him whatever the cost. It should be very clear to him that you will no more listen to his shouting and ravings and that his present behavior does not help solve his mental disturbance but only worsens the situation. Tell him in a quiet manner that you both can sit together and solve his problem. However, you should not leave any doubt in his mind that you would not implement your threat to leave the house if he continues with his temper,” the editor went on.
“You should, most importantly, take a determined stand. Or you can draw a line beyond which he cannot go and hurt your pride. The message should be clear that you will not tolerate any more nonsense. If he loses his temper again you should immediately insist on leaving the house. In the meantime, you also can point out some positive methods to improve his temper.”
