“First time here in Jeddah? How do you like it?” Enquiring and curious eyes tell me they expect me politely to avoid having to answer honestly in order to spare the blushes of my hosts and the person asking. Most of the time he or she is a Saudi national and probably expects me — albeit in mild terms — to express my disgust at a backward society that endorses oppression of women, cultivates terrorism and refuses any international influence.
I tell my honest opinion to all who care to ask. The truth of the matter is that I feel extremely fortunate to be a guest in this country. It is not backward at all; it is just different from where I come from.
Since my arrival in Jeddah, I have been reminded almost daily of starting my Arabic studies and my father trying to be funny telling me off for writing in the wrong direction; I told him that it is not the wrong direction, it is just the other one.
As for the status of women, I say simply that evolution takes time. Power lies not in appearance, it lies in dynamic action. Much should and can be changed and I am confident this will happen, quite simply because it has to.
Regarding the unfortunate but no less ridiculous notion that all terrorists are Saudis, and vice versa for that matter, I find the debate a little tiresome. To brand a nation or a people as such and such from the acts of individuals tells me more about the narrow mindset of the one branding than about the nation in question.
I firmly believe that terrorism is merely a manifestation of a larger problem. If we continue to focus only on putting ointment on a rash without trying to find the virus from which the rash comes, little will be achieved. Maybe the rash will be soothed for a while, but it will come back without doubt.
After overcoming the initial days of stumbling on the abaya — stepping on it when climbing in and out of cars, walking up and down stairs, turning corners — I found myself having established something resembling routine. Gym in the morning when most people are still sleeping followed by coffee and e-mailing at a restaurant, meeting new as well as old friends at night and then staying up until dawn.
After a couple of weeks, sleep-deprived and incessantly feeding myself with sugar to keep alert, I will have to assign at least one entire day in bed within the foreseeable future.
Big walls surround most houses and I wondered if the reason consists of equal amounts of privacy and security. Regardless of their purpose, the walls must not be mistaken as a sign of hostility or inhospitality. The generosity somewhat inexplicably bestowed upon me has frequently been overwhelming; in no other part of the world have I encountered such readiness to host friends and in the case of myself, friends of friends. I am in awe of the way in which Saudis have developed the fine art of entertaining guests. I have been received with benign curiosity and open minds in equal measure.
Directly opposing but still not contradicting the impression that Jeddah is a vast city is the sense that the skies are low and that the ocean is very near. The barrier between the natural elements and man seems somehow minimized if not quite erased. In the outskirts of the city the sand makes its presence very clear; the dunes appear far away, but you simultaneously breathe in the fine dust, announcing the sands’ closeness.
Finding no other way to describe it, the occurrence of proximity and distance synchronized appears again when I listen to the call for prayers. The greatness of God and man’s obligation to submit to His will is recited from minarets five times a day: God is thus brought down to each man’s everyday life.
The contradictions, oppositions and sometimes confusing messages meet me everywhere: A young woman sporting the latest Dior sunglasses and Prada shoes under her abaya, men in thobes and full headdress racing in their cars, families picnicking on patches of green next to a highway, fully covered women walking into a lingerie store. Traditions are observed in harmony with necessities and temptations of modern times. It is mesmerizing to watch. I appreciate the more or less successful attempts at adapting to the social changes that unquestionably are taking place without abandoning culture and tradition. The conservation of the rich culture this country has while slowly adapting to the 21st century creates a fantastic tapestry.
I love it here. My eyes find something new and fascinating to discover every day; my mind is nourished by all the sights, my imagination takes off and I lose myself in expansive thought. I feel very fortunate to be among those allowed to experience this country. I am humbled by the warm welcome I got upon arriving in Saudi Arabia and everything that people here do and offer their guests. I wish people in other parts of the world would stop looking at what is different with eyes of suspicion and take after the example Saudi Arabia poses. The mix of modern and ancient, foreign and familiar, known and yet to be discovered does not have to result in clashes of civilizations.
It can just as well be the foundation of the saying, “A stranger is a friend I have not met before.”
