MAKKAH, 5 August 2006 — Following the high-profile case of six-year-old Rahaf, a girl from Taif whose stepmother subjected her to months of abuse, the issue of stepparents abusing their partners’ children from previous marriages remains highly potent.
The question remains as to why stepparents commit such acts of brutality. According to a report published recently in the Makkah newspaper Al-Nadwah, many people end up disliking their partners’ children from other marriages, and with the aim of forcing the children out they behave violently toward them. In some situations stepparents have even been known to force children to become household servants.
Anas is a young Saudi whose mother married another man after his father died. He was only seven years old then. Anas says his stepfather, who was above 50 and father of five children, turned his life upside down the moment he came and moved into their home.
“He was taking control of everything, even the decision-making. My mother was paying for him and his children from my late dad’s inheritance,” said Anas.
According to Anas, his mother would not listen to him when he used to tell her not to waste money. “In the end there was nothing left for us because my stepfather took control of everything and gave our inheritance to his children,” he said.
Jameela is a teenager whose father died when she was young. Jameela says a man came and asked for her mother’s hand in marriage just to get hold of their inheritance. “At first the man was nice and acted like he wanted to be a good dad to replace our lost father. Soon after the marriage he showed his real intentions,” said Jameela.
Jameela and her brothers quickly realized what their stepfather was trying to do. “We told our mother about him and she warned him to be careful but he continued to put pressure on us and try controlling our inheritance. After a while my mother went to court and managed to get a divorce and throw him out of our lives,” said Jameela.
Still young, Jameela’s mother refuses to marry again and as a single mother devotes her time in raising her children.
Another sad story is that of Saad whose father died at a young age leaving him and his siblings orphan.
Saad says due to economic reasons his mother was forced by his grandfather to marry a violent man who used to beat Saad and his siblings as their mother stood by helpless and in tears.
“One day he threw me out of the house and told my mother not to let me in. I had nowhere to go so I went to my grandfather’s house in search of food and a place to stay. When my grandfather saw me, he grabbed me by my hair and threw me out saying he didn’t want to see me because he couldn’t look after me,” said Saad.
Saad says he went back home to plead to his mother to let him in but she said that his stepfather had threatened to throw her out too if she did so. In the end Saad ended up living on the streets for a few weeks surviving on handouts and charity.
“Justice was seen at the end when my stepfather died in car accident. I must say that I was not sorry that he died because of the suffering he brought to my mother and me,” said Saad. He returned home and his mother promised to focus on raising his younger brothers and not marry again.
Um Ahmad is a Saudi woman whose husband of 10 years died of cancer leaving four children. Many men came to ask for her hand in marriage but Um Ahmad refused them all. Finally under pressure from her family she married a man.
Prior to marrying the man Um Ahmad made a condition that he would treat her children nicely like his own and never separate them from her.
“A few months after the marriage, he began hating my children for no reason at all. He would criticize them for trivial things and hit them over nothing. I threatened him saying that if he continued doing this then I would leave him,” said Um Ahmad.
In the end Um Ahmad left the man. “He was treating my children like servants. I thought that he would show them the fatherhood that they had lost when my husband died. At the end I went to court and won the divorce case against him and he was out of our lives forever,” she said.
