JEDDAH, 20 May 2006 — According to figures published by a social service organization which specializes in reconciling estranged couples, 177 women have approached the organization to make their husbands stop neglecting their duties while 452 men have complained that their wives do not obey them.
The Marital Love Center attached to the General Court’s marriage wing in Jeddah also said 23 men had sought the organization’s help to persuade their wives to be civil to them. The center said it had succeeded in reconciling couples in half of the 1,640 cases and dissuaded them from seeking divorce. It also resolved more than 700 cases involving disputes between couples, according to Al-Madinah newspaper.
Sheikh Anas ibn Abdul Wahab Zarah, secretary-general of the center, blamed the media for the growing dissatisfaction among women and for encouraging them to take their husbands to court, a situation which often leads to the end of marriages.
The sheikh said, “The local media have played a considerable role in making women rebellious in their family life. Another factor that increases family conflicts is the large amount of money women get, particularly the employed ones. In cases where men depend on their wives’ income for the upkeep of the family, the women tend to be more disobedient and domineering.”
The sheikh also attributed men’s negligence of their nuptial obligations and resorting to misyar relations (marriage without obligations) or second marriages mainly to women’s lack of bedroom manners.
The sheikh lamented Saudi women’s total ignorance of the ways to make men maintain warm relations with them. “It is because,” the sheikh continued, “they treat their husbands as though they were domestic linen. They never try to be attractive to their husbands nor use perfumes to drive away the unpleasant odors of sweat and the kitchen that would make any person turn away from them.”
He added that he was just trying to show that there were reasons for men becoming repelled by their wives. He also blamed men for not attempting to please their wives.
However the sheikh stressed the need for Saudi women to learn civilized bedroom culture. Women are eager to buy new clothes for outings but hardly care to win the admiration of their husbands. There is no wonder men’s emotional attachment to them does not last, particularly after the initial stage of marriage when other worrying problems begin to raise their ugly heads. They should realize that increasing demands and complaints without any emotional backup only drives men away, said Sheikh Zarah.
