We continuously read and hear about children being abused when living with either a stepmother or a stepfather. In certain cases, the abuse case could be so cruel as to cause a child’s brain to be smashed, his body to be burned or his body parts to be amputated. What are we waiting for? To hear of a stepfather or a stepmother who killed an innocent child because of their criminal torture and abuse?
A woman marrying a divorced father with children from a previous marriage knows that from the beginning and agrees to live with it. She ought to treat them like a mother since she agreed to accept them when their father proposed to her. To be honest, many women make sacrifices before they get married. But everything changes once they tie the knot and they take full control of their husbands. These women are only asked to treat their stepchildren with a sense of humanity and a bit of love and compassion.
Experience makes it clear to us that this type of barbaric behavior with stepchildren resembles repeated patterns of abusive behavior present in many families regardless of differences in ages and living circumstances. Very few reported cases tell the stories of a stepmother or stepfather bringing up their spouse’s children lovingly.
The society respects and praises parents who can provide their stepchildren with the emotions and care they need. Yet, when we praise a stepmother or a stepfather for looking after their partner’s children, we’re sending an implied message saying that what they’re doing is an act of courtesy and not their duty.
On the other hand, the society confirms the traditional type of thinking concerning stepparents, which is that they can only be real parents to their biological children. This is a very strange concept. To bring up one’s biological children doesn’t necessarily mean genuine parenthood; it’s something all living creatures do. Real parenthood is about looking after your children, loving them and giving them the life and love they deserve. Many countries live by these notions. Their rules and traditions give the parents who raise up children the right of real parenthood more than the owner of an ovum or spermatozoa.
Our culture and history prove to us that the children living with their stepparents face many difficulties in life. They usually experience abuse, violence and discrimination and sometimes they might be forced to leave their homes. There are many real life stories that tell the painful experiences that children have lived. Unfortunately we still practice the same things without learning from these repeated patterns of events and incidents that abuse and violate innocent children.
It’s very important to protect these children who are subjected to abuse by their families. The media reveals day after day many stories about violence against children committed by stepparents. What’s puzzling is that some of these stepmothers are educators leading important roles in their fields.
I wish that our courts and human rights organizations would put rules and regulations into place to protect these children who live away from their parents. In case either of the parents is given custody of their children, it’s important that the court or a committee concerned with children’s rights follow up their cases and visit them regularly according to programs formulated by specialists. They must submit regular reports about the children’s health, status and their emotional and physical well-being. When reports of abuse of children either by their parents or stepparents are filed, they must quickly be deprived their rights of having guardianship over their children.
Protecting children must not be limited to the ones living with their stepparents. The rules and regulations must be general in order to protect even the ones living with their biological parents. There are many things to be done to provide the proper protection to our children. There has to be a hotline number to report violence and abuse cases. Visits to the children’s schools and hospitals are also a reliable source of information to track abuse cases.
A committee that protects the rights of children must create practical plans and programs to keep them safe from any harm. And if this committee can work in coordination with the Ministry of Education to study the psychological state of the children, maybe they can easily identify the signs and the symptoms of abuse in its early stages. The social workers in schools can provide great assistance by observing the children and regularly reporting to this committee.
If we want programs that protect children against violence and abuse to succeed, we must carefully choose the people who will work on them. They have to have a strong grounding in humanitarian values and believe passionately in the importance of protecting innocent children.
