JEDDAH, 2 May 2007 — Sarah Sulaiman, who preferred not to mention her family name, married her cousin, a childhood sweetheart, last summer. Her mother and his mother are both sisters. Her cousin officially proposed to her parents a long time ago. However, the couple delayed their marriage while they waited for her to graduate from university and while he prepared himself financially to be able to support a family.
After marrying, Sarah moved to live with her husband in Riyadh where he works. Although, she found the furniture at her new home not to her taste, she remained unbothered since it was her mother-in-law’s choice.
Soon after marrying, Sarah, who was 24-year-old at the time, became pregnant. Four months later, she returned to Jeddah divorced and without a baby. “He was violent and beat me up so brutally that I lost my baby... It was God’s blessing that I lost my baby. I don’t want anything to connect me with him and nor did I want the baby to grow up with his or her parents divorced,” she said.
The divorce did not only affect Sarah and her ex-husband’s relationship as cousins, it also made it difficult for their mothers’ relationship.
Hadeel Sheikh, an English language teacher at King Abdulaziz University, who is also married to a cousin, said that marriages among relatives could be successful. “You get to share the same parties and events. On Eid it is not like: ‘Oh I have to go to his parents’ home or she has to go to my parents’ home.’ We visit the same family,” she said.
On the other hand, when such marriages turn sour, the problem ends up involving the entire family. Sheikh said that even when family members try being objective, they end up leaning toward one side more than the other.
Speaking about her own marriage, she said: “It is medically not recommended (to marry relatives) because both our families have diabetes and succeeding other generations may end up becoming diabetic.”
Sheikh’s children are shortsighted, which is a common trait in her family. “I wouldn’t encourage my children to marry their relatives in the future,” she said, adding that her parents do not encourage marriages among relatives. “However, when it happens it happens, but they’re not for it,” she said.
Islamic law allows Muslims to marry cousins. Marriages among relatives are more common among tribal people. In some societies, parents make agreements with other parents to marry their young children to each other when they grow older. Families are also known to refuse marriage proposals for their daughters to ensure they only marry cousins.
Islam is also against the concept of forced marriages, which are different than arranged marriages. “In some cases, boys and girls grow up feeling they don’t want to marry their cousins. Sometimes, boys may want to marry someone apart from the person their parents have decided. In such scenarios, the girls end up losing out,” said Yasser Shalabi, head of Family Guiding and Counseling at the Mawaddah Social Center.
Shalabi is alluding to the fact that such girls, whose parents have warded off potential suitors while waiting for their relatives to complete the marriage contract, end up not receiving proposals and that many remain single.
Shalabi also added that arranging marriages in such a way reduces the chances of the couple being of similar mindset, even though they may be related. “Nothing guarantees equity in adherence to religion, manners, education, mentality and many other factors. Marrying in this way reduces the chances, especially for the girl, to marry someone who matches her,” he said, adding that such marriages are also unfair to men.
Hereditary diseases are also common among children whose parents are related to each other. This is because the genes are more likely to be similar among individuals of common ancestry.
A statistical study carried out by the Help Center, a Jeddah based nonprofit organization dedicated to the welfare of children with mental disabilities, showed that 41 percent of total children with mental disabilities that were enrolled at the center between 1988 and 2006 were those whose parents were related. This is regardless of whether they are first cousins, second cousins or from the same tribe.
“The percentage is almost half so it is huge and scary. People must know that 40 percent is still a big percentage even if it is less than the half,” said Jumana Al-Aama, consultant pediatrician and clinical geneticist at the King Abdulaziz University Hospital in Jeddah, adding that genetic disorders, birth defects and other medical issues are more common among the children of consanguineous parents.
“This is because the genes are more likely to be similar among individuals of common ancestry. Genes are our hereditary units. A gene may develop a mutation and lose its normal function... Children whose parents are related by blood are more likely to inherit two genes with the same mutation. The more consanguinity there is in a given family, the more likely it becomes that a child inherits two similarly faulty genes and develop disease,” she added.
Children, whose parents are related by blood, are more likely to inherit two genes with the same mutation. The more consanguinity there is in a given family, the more likely it becomes for a child to inherit two similarly faulty genes and develop diseases.
Because anemia and thalassemia are the two most common inherited diseases in Saudi Arabia, the National Premarital Screening Program only tests hereditary blood diseases. Dr. Al-Aama feels this is not enough, but it is a good start to prevent two of many genetic diseases. Premarital genetic counseling and medical checkups can help detect potential problems prior to marriage or even engagement.
“After working as a clinical geneticist in Jeddah for the past two years and seeing so many families with genetic disorders, I strongly believe that consanguineous marriages should be discouraged,” she said. “If cousins or other individuals related by blood insist on marriage then they should at least undergo genetic assessment and counseling in the hope of increasing the chances of having healthy children,” she added.
